If I Told You
by Tiggy the Hopeless Romantic
Summary: Destiny. It's inescapable, right? What if Universities were all closed to females? What happens when Yackle steps in, helping Elphaba get to Shiz anyway? And what in the world does her Arjiki Prince roommate have to do with things? AU. Complete 7.31.08
1. That I'd Run Away

Hello, hello, and so we meet again! This is the start of a brand new story. I recieved the idea for this story from Meltalviel, who is a bit busy doing her own things... although she beta-d this for me too!

This chapter does a lot of setting up. The plot will really start _next _chapter, but I should get that out before too long. So if it gets boring, hold out!

* * *

_If I told you that I'd run away..._

Elphaba Thropp ran as fast as she could. Not that she knew where she was going. Not that that mattered all that much. She just simply could not go home. It wasn't even an option. The hovels in the Quadling Country had never felt like home to her, but now the very idea didn't even exist.

She ran until her body screamed at her, begging her to stop. It was still early in the day, and the full heat of the Quadling sun would have been enough to make her sweat standing still. She ran until her muscles screamed, and she couldn't breath. She kept going. She couldn't think. It was a long time before she realized she had collapsed onto the marshy ground, with only her light cloak protecting her from the water that was capable of killing if it touched her skin.

Then again, maybe the cloak hadn't really saved her. Death didn't sound all that bad.

_Stop it, Elphaba. You didn't go through seventeen years of hell to just give up now._

She sat up slowly, her body protesting. Every inch of her being screamed that it was done, and it didn't want to keep going anymore. But she and her body didn't quite agree on things. Her logic knew that she could not sit on that patch of marsh grass in the Quadling Country forever. It would have to rain, eventually.

So she stood up slowly, and walked. Her body found a rhythm, steady, slow, but constant. She survived purely on her desire not to fail. She counted her steps, which gave her mind something to do so she couldn't think. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Don't forget to breath. She went on auto-pilot, simply walking, as if she had a purpose other getting as farm from her 'home' as she could.

The current hovel she had been living in had been near the border to the City. She found the gate before the sun went down, and was able to slip past the soldiers guarding the city before night had completely stepped in.

She had no idea why she wanted to go to the City. It was a feeling more than anything else, like something was pulling her in. She tried to remember the geography of the Emerald City from what Nanny had taught her as a child. The northern area was the wealthy part of town, where tourists came. The Palace was in the direct center. South of the Palace... well, no one went south of the Palace if they could avoid it.

Elphaba was South of the Palace. Pulling her cloak around her a little tighter she settled into one of the decrepit benches that was placed along the street. The green paint was chipping off, slowly. She could see the natural wood underneath.

She folded her legs up under her dark blue skirt, studying the shadowy figures that appeared and disappeared. A mother with two young children clutching her tattered skirt. A gaggle of adolescents, ready to steal. Hungry men, begging. Women who had been forced to sell themselves for money.

Only then did it really hit her that she had bigger things to worry about than what would happen when Frex located her and dragged her kicking and screaming back home.

She vaguely considered going East to her Great-Grandfather's home. The Eminant Thropp liked her, or at least seemed to. She would be safe and dry, and the fact that Frex hated the man was an entertaining plus.

But then, her Great-Grandfather believed women were better off pretty and ignorant, letting their husbands speak for them. Elphaba just knew her Great-Grandfather had some lackey he would force her to marry, just so he would have some say in who inherited Eminence. She didn't so much care about the actual Eminence, and didn't want it. But she sure as hell didn't want to be forced into a marriage. She had always figured she would wind up the old spinster, and then one of Nessa's or Shell's children would be able inherit the title from her.

Being forced into anything was not what she needed right then. And plus, if she went to see the Eminant Thropp, he would surely notify Frex, and even if she wasn't forced to live with him, she would at least have to communicate with him.

So out of pure teenage rebellion and stupidity, she stubbornly sat on the bench, just waiting to be picked up by the Gale Force for whatever offence they could come up with.

Eventually, the night grew cold. She was glad the bench kept her off of the wet ground. She pulled the cloak around herself and began to doze. Surely, she could safely rest her eyes for just a moment.. she wouldn't sleep...

_She stepped onto the platform. Her father handed her the simple suitcase that held two changes of clothes and a few books. He told her not to embarrass herself, or their family. After a moment, he added that he hoped she would do well, and awkwardly hugged her to him, in a gesture more for the surrounding group than from any desire to hug his child goodbye._

_She picked up the suitcase and found her seat on the train. It was headed North to Shiz University. She would be starting college as well as a new life. She would be around intelligent minds that accepted her for her, and saw past her skin color. She would simply be Elphaba Thropp, and not the odd green girl._

"Hey, you!" A rough shaking jolted her awake.

"Wha-" Was her clever response. She wondered how long she had been asleep, and was puzzled at her oddly vivid dream. Shiz University? How in the world had she dreamed up that one? Shiz had always been closed to females, and the Wizard showed no signs of changing that policy.

"Shut up, girl, and come with me. You'll die on these streets if you stay much longer!"

She frowned. Who the hell was this old bat, and why did she care if she died or not? "But-"

"The rain will start soon, and you'll melt like sugar. C'mon now, follow Old Mother Yackle. She'll see your destiny gets tending to." She pulled the girl up by the wrist with surprising strength. "Hurry now, don't dawdle!"

"Who are you?" Elphaba tried to ask.

"Doesn't matter much. Destiny is what we're concerned with, yours in particular. And yours will end without a roof over your head!" Elphaba stared at the old woman. Part of her wanted to run screaming in the other direction. Part of her wondered how this Yackle person knew she was allergic to water. Part of her wondered if it all even mattered, and if she had anything to loose.

She followed the old woman into a little shack, and was soon asleep again.


	2. That I Lie Sometimes

_If I told you that I lie sometimes_

Before Elphaba opened her eyes, she knew something was off. Normally, she would be hearing Nanny making the beginings of a meager breakfast. Here, all she could hear was rain pounding off the roof, and she was sickened by the smell of cat's urine mixed with some sort of herb or spice. She made a mental note not to accept any food or drink from the old woman.

She sat up sleepily. Yackle must have tucked the old quilt around her, because Elphaba couldn't even remember the inside of the shack. She'd been asleep by the time she had entered the threshold.

There were no signs of the old woman, and that made Elphaba both uneasy and and happier. Uneasy in that she had no idea where she was. Happy in that she really didn't want to have to spend more time with Yackle.

Bored, she got up and began to explore the little room she was in. She idly looked around the cluttered little room, stepping over a sleeping cat- that explained the smell. She recognized different religous symbols along the walls. Lurlinist, Unionism, Pleasure Faith. And some others Elphaba didn't quite recognize.

The shack was a mess. The dirt floor was littered with pieces of paper, scraps of wrinkled parchment, and she saw a dead spider in a corner. A thick book sat in the middle of a round table, open. She slowly approached it, her hand reaching forward to touch the old pages. She couldn't read it, it was in some language she couldn't decipher.

A firm grip on her shoulder, then. "Curious, poppet?"

Elphaba let out an embarrassingly high and feminine shriek. She had been sure she had been alone in the shack. "I-"

Yackle waved her ancient hand. "I understand, look look..." She encouraged, but then it was like a light switched. "Oh! Stop that, we don't have time to waste, you must go!" She grabbed Elphaba's thin arm and pulled her toward the door.

Was she being kicked out? "Ma'am, I'm sorry, I'll leave now," she said, her eyes lowering to the floor. She turned to leave, but the bony hand caught her again, shoving her into a splintered wooden chair.

"Sit! Sit, sit. What happened, dearie?" Out of nowhere, she had a cup of tea in her hands. Elphaba shook her head to decline. "Why aren't you with the old minister, preparing to go off to school? You're susposed to start in a few weeks!"

"The minister? You mean my father? We got in an argument." The girl trailed off, not wanting to reveal the rest of it. "You aren't sending me back to him, are you?"

Yackle gave her a look. "This isn't the way things are supposed to be happening..." She clicked her tounge. "But what of school, what of Shiz? You must go to Shiz, meet the girl, meet the boy..."

By this point Elphaba was more confused than she had ever been. "School? What do you mean? Shiz is closed to females. I would love to go, but I can't. I may not be the most feminine specimen, but I do believe that I am in fact female, and that's enough to get me excluded."

The old woman's milky eyes brightened. Elphaba had thought she was blind, but reconsidered at this point. "You must go, you must try."

Elphaba groaned, wishing she had left. "I just told you they won't let me in! And even if I went, all they would do is send me home! And I am not going back to Frex."

"Then don't let them know you belong to the Minister."

"I don't belong to anyone, I'm his daughter-"

"So you think.." The old bat muttered, but Elphaba didn't hear her.

"- and I'm odd enough to be identified. All of Rush Margins knows the Eminent Thropp's Great-Grandaughter was born green. They'll ship me back to him, and he'll either force me to become a 'proper Lady' or he'll send me back to the Quadling."

"Then don't be identifiable."

"I'm green for Oz's sake! They'll recognize me!" Elphaba yelped, exasperated. Why did this old woman insist on her going to the University? It wasn't possible.

Yackle approached the book, turned a few of it's pages, then looked for a different book. She opened it, and smiled. "Ahh. Don't be green."

Elphaba snorted. "Don''t you think I tried that a long time ago?"

"You never tried a spell, now did you?"

Frex had always been against witchcraft, saying it reaked of both Lurlineism and the Pfaith. Elphaba herself had always thought it was a silly practice, and was all parlour tricks. "A spell can't turn my skin from green to 'normal'."

"Well, of course it can't!" Yackle said, as if Elphaba had simply said 'the sky is blue'.

"So how do you think a spell will help me?"

"Easy. It can't change you, but it can change how you appear. Your own mother wouldn't know you were green if you were using the spell-"

"My mother is dead."

"Pish, well, anyway. This spell will last about fourteen hours or so, but you can refresh it."

Elphaba actually smiled. "It would really make me seem normal?" She nearly hugged the woman, but suddenly paused. "Ma'am, are you forgetting something? I'm still female! They won't let me in."

"Really, my pretty. Take a chance and be creative." With that, Yackle placed a slip of paper in Elphaba's hand, and pushed her toward the door. She looked at what must have been the spell, knowing that it would change everything she knew.

_Rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum. Rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum, rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum, rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum..._


	3. Life Is Fair

_Rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum. Rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum, rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum, rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum..._

She repeated the spell over and over again in her head. She had it commited to memory before she even had the nerve to consider trying it. Would it work? After all this time, would it work? Would something like a spell be able to... fix her? Make her normal?

She had to try.

She looked around. The street was pretty empty, but all the same, she knew she shouldn't try changing her skintone in the middle of a street. She stepped into the alley behind Yackle's shack. She could see her reflection in a puddle of rainwater. It was her, alright.

She remembered what Yackle had said about having to refresh the spell. Every fourteen hours the spell would fade. She would be as green as sin again. She didn't _care_. This was her chance to be normal.

She said the awkward words aloud. "Rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum." Her stomach jumped. She felt like her skin was burning. It was tingling horribly, and it terrified her. What if she had simply just found a way to kill herself? She almost wasn't able to finish, but knew she had to. She hoped she would grow used to the sensation, because she would be using the spell alot.

She forced herself to move past it."Rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum, rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum, rhaousaltine enkophine ternialty corrignum." Her stomach flipped. That had not been pleasant. She threw up and felt dizzy, trying not to look at the contents of her stomach spilled on the street.. She would be doing this at least twice a day for a long time. Maybe even the rest of her life.

Once the sickness had passed, she didn't really feel any different. Her hair was sticking to her sweaty forehead. She went to brush the few strands of hair out of her face. That was when her hand came into her line of sight.

It was _normal. _Lily-white skin like her brother and sister both had. She let her gaze travel up her arm. That was normal, too. Excitedly, she leaned forward to look into the puddle of water she had looked at herself in before.

She barely recognized herself. She looked shockingly like Melena had before she died. Her features stood out more. Her dark hair and her ebony black hair were magnified through their contrast to her skin.

She was _beautiful_. She couldn't see it, but everyone else could.

* * *

She got on the first train to Shiz University. She had never felt happier. No one was staring at her. No one was pointing. There were no giggles over the odd green girl. She was _normal. _She was a normal seventeen year old girl. 

_Damn it._

In her joy at finally seeming normal, she had forgotten one little thing. Because of the fact that she was still female she was still excluded from attending University.

She let her head hit the back of her seat, repeatedly. What was she supposed to do now?

_"Take a chance and be creative."_ That was what the old woman had said to her.

"Well how and the hell am I susposed to do that?" She muttered outloud. An elderly woman turned an eye to her. Elphaba scowled. "Great. Now they think I'm crazy." Normal was not prooving to be her forte.

She let herself slump in her seat. Surely if she could manage not to be green, she could manage not to be a girl. A story her Nanny had told her in her childhood came to mind.

There was a shipwreck. The boat had crashed on a foreign island. It had been carrying the wealthy son and daughter of some lord or whatever. The son drowned, and the daughter and only a few crew members survived. She knew that to survive she would need to find work, and she knew on the island it would be much easier to find work if she disguised herself as a male. So she did, and worked in a duke's home as a page. There was some silly business with her falling in love with the duke... but if it worked for the girl in the story...

It was crazy. But it had to work. It was her only chance.


	4. On The Smallest Raft

I'm just wondering if you all are reading, as reviews have been a little slim. It's a little hard to write if you're not sure anyone is reading. So.. Here it is. The story will begin to pick up now.

* * *

It was surprisingly easy to come up with a decent disguise of 'borrowed' clothing. Elphaba's slim, nearly boyish frame and height helped the effect. She was painfully aware of her high voice as well as the fact that her hair was still long. She debated chopping it off but couldn't quite will herself to do it. She knew it was some misguided attempt at vanity, but she couldn't quite bring herself to it. She could remember being younger and hearing her sister refer to it as 'her only beauty'. She had been offended at the time but didn't want to part with her hair. Instead she tied it back in a loose, low pony-tail. It was a masculine enough look. She hoped, anyway.

She stepped off of the train platform into the bright sunlight. It was like the whole world knew that this day was a good day and was cheering her on. She walked toward the ivy-covered school. Young men walked as well, some followed by servants carrying their baggage. They all had been accepted to Shiz University.

_Accepted to Shiz University._

As if a light had suddenly switched on, she suddenly remembered one basic piece of information. She had never applied to go to school here. They were not expecting her and had no reason to let her in. She was no one and would not be allowed into the school.

_Hell. _She walked over to the side towards a strategically placed park bench. Had the past few days' journey been worth nothing? She slumped down on the bench, longing for the familiarity of one of her old skirts, feeling all too awkward in the unusual clothing she currently wore.

Just then, something caught her eye. The movement of an old woman standing behind her. "You again?" Elphaba asked, not bothering to be polite.

"Of course, pretty." She grinned as she eyed Elphaba's disguise. "You look wonderful. I never would've guessed you were the green bean girlie." The disguise was convincing. She was certaintly passable as a boy, and Elphaba had practiced the spell enough to be able to complete it without feeling horribly ill.

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter. You forgot something. That school has no reason to let me in. I was never accepted. Hell, I never applied. I couldn't."

"After all this you're going to let that stop you?" Yackle clicked her tounge. "That's not like you, you were always so stubborn. Anyway, Mother Yackle knows what she's doing." She raised her voice then and added for the public's benefit. "C'mon, son. We have to get you to that school." She handed Elphaba a suitcase. At the girl's questioning look, she clarified. "Well, you have to have more than that to wear."

So Elphaba played the part of Yackle's son(though the crone looked too old to have a son Elphaba's age). She followed her right to the gate of Shiz where Yackle said. "Alright boy, Mother has gotten you this far. The rest is on your own."

Elphaba's heart beat in her ears as she sat down in the back of the room where boys were listening to a man give an orientation speach. She gathered that he was the Headmaster, and was named Brogthurn. He was a dull man, and he had a stern, off putting quality about him.

Just then a woman walked into the room. She was extravagantly dressed, with an ornate gold gown. Upon seeing her, Elphaba felt a sudden flash of illness and the room seemed to spin.

_"Hello, Ladies. Welcome to Crage Hall, Oz's first all female college. My name is Madame__ Morrible, and I'll be your headmistress for the next few years. We have such high hopes for all of you. You are all so very bright." The fishy woman's gaze landed on Elphaba, sitting in her ugly red dress. She smiled. "I can just see fate happening, you will all become such powerful young women."_

Elphaba felt like throwing up.What had that been? A dream? Or a vision? Either way she felt painful sweat on her face. She studied the woman who seemed to be Brogthurn's secretary. It was the same woman as the Madame Morrible from her vision. Her skin crawled. Slowly, the boys filed past her to recieve their room assignments.

When Elphaba reached her, she simply said, "Hello dear. What's your name, so I can put you in a room."

"Elpha-" She panicked, but then faked a caughing fit to cover it. "Alphaeus. Alphaeus of Nest Hardings. And how are you, Madame?" She fought to keep her voice from quivering.

Morrible didn't notice Elphaba's nerves, or is she did she didn't show it. "Well, Master Alphaeus. I don't live a life of glamor, but I enjoy serving the minds of tomorrow." She grinned, reminding Elphaba or a fish with teeth. "Just promise to remember Madame Morrible one day when you achieve greatness."

"I will, Madame." Elphaba whispered. She couldn't shake her queasiness.

"Now, Master Alphaeus will be rooming with..." She trailed off to prompt the boy who stood behind Elphaba to speak.

"Fiyero. Prince Fiyero, of the Arjiki tribe."


	5. Ready To Go

Just wanted to say thank you for the amazing feedback for the last chapter! Could you... do it again? Hehe. Seriously, thanks. I am pleased that several people picked up on the Twelfth Night thing. Yes, that was on purpose. I've played Viola before. It was fun. Anyway...

* * *

The two new roommates walked up the stairs to their dorm room. Elphaba unlocked the door, and they walked in. It was awkward, and she was too anxious to start a conversation. He coughed and said, "You can pick which bed you want."

"Thanks," said Elphaba, focusing on keeping her voice at a low pitch. She placed her bag down on the bed further from the window. She had no idea if the spell that was masking her skin would protect her from her unusual reaction to water but didn't want to risk it. She eyed the window in despair; it looked rather leaky.

She set to unpacking. She had no idea what Yackle had packed for her. She was pleased to find normal, simple shirts and several pairs of pants. She also found a large book tucked beneath the clothes. It had a lavender cover with silver writing- not that she could read the writing. It was in a foreign language and Elphaba figured it was a spell book. Without reading it she threw it under her bed.

She looked up to study her still-unpacking roommate. He was focused on his suitcase and didn't notice her. His skin was darker than most people Elphaba knew, and he had a pattern of blue diamonds on his skin. He was clearly Vinkun. His hair was longer than most boys, but tidy. His clothing was neat as well. She remembered him introducing himself as Prince Fiyero. What tribe had he said he had been from? The Scrow? No, the Arjiki.

He looked up then, surprising her. She looked down quickly, hoping he hadn't noticed her staring. If he did, he didn't comment on it. Instead, he neutrally said, "I guess we're going to be living together for awhile."

"Yeah." It came out higher pitched than she had hoped. She covered it with a cough and added, "What are you majoring in?" There, that was a normal enough question.

"Ozian History with an emphasis on politics." She supposed that made sense- Prince and all. "And what about you?"

Oh. She hadn't thought of an answer to that. She hadn't even considered that she would eventually need to declare her major. Quickly, she blurted, "I haven't decided yet. I was thinking of..." She paused and said the first thing that came to mind. "Life Sciences."

"Oh" was all Fiyero said. They didn't speak for the rest of the night.

* * *

Elphaba woke up late the next morning, carefully refreshing the spell. She couldn't bear the thought of what would happen if her naturally green skin ever showed. Her roommate was nowhere in sight, which was for the better, because she didn't particularly want to change while he was still in the room. Frowning as she looked out the window, she realized she had definitely overslept. 

She got dressed as quickly as she could and made her way towards the dining hall. It was mostly empty except for a few students like her, late to rise. There were also a few teachers scattered throughout the hall.

She was able to get a small breakfast of two slices of toast and some orange juice and set to people watching. Maybe it would help her in her quest in pretending to be male.

"This is an outrage!"

"Please, your voice! Dillamond, this is not my fault. I had no say in this. This is the Wizard's rule, not mine."

Elphaba, as well as the others in the room, looked up to the source of the disturbance. Brogthurn, the headmaster, was speaking with one of the professors. The professor was very distinct; in addition to being agitated, he was a Goat. "And you will let him walk over you." He raised his voice. "You all are letting that man walk right on over you!"

"Dillamond, hush! I have no say in the matter of your dismissal, it was the Wizard's order."

"And what exactly was our Glorious Wizard's order?"

Brogthurn seethed. "He said that Animals are not capable of properly molding the minds of tomorrow."

"You mean unwilling to brainwash." The professor spoke to the students directly now. "Listen, boys! There are things happening in Oz you are not being told! Beware, or you will begin to lose your rights as well."

The two of them left, Brogthurn attempting to subdue Dillamond. Elphaba was able to register that something very, very bad was happening. But what could she do? She was a nobody. And she hardly wanted to call attention to herself. Yackle had said that she needed to go to Shiz. Elphaba couldn't ruin that, could she?

She threw the remains of her breakfast away. She wasn't hungry anymore.

* * *

School started a few days later. Elphaba had been so distracted by actually getting into Shiz that she had managed to forget about the actual task of learning. It was a welcome distraction, however. She had always enjoyed learning and if nothing else when she was in class or when she was studying she had the perfect excuse to not speak to anyone. Least of all her roommate. 

It wasn't that she didn't want to speak with Fiyero. She just knew her awkward behavior and aloof attitude had more than likely alienated him from her. Which was for the better, she told herself. She shouldn't get very close to anyone, it would make it more difficult to keep up her disguise.

There was also the fact that Elphaba never knew what to say when she was around Fiyero. It took her awhile to realize why. It was more than the fact that he was the most likely candidate to figure out the fact that she was in fact a she.

Though it _did _have to do with the fact that she was a _she_. She denied it to herself for a long time, but knew it was the truth. She was attracted to her roommate. It was the most ridiculous thing she could think of. She had no business being attracted to anyone. And even if she did, he was off limits. She knew he had been married at a young age because of a tribal tradition.

Yet her stomach still flipped whenever he was around... which, seeing as they were sharing a room was painfully often.

---

In addition to the awkward relationship she had with Fiyero, she had been able to make a friend. And at least one enemy.

It started after her first history class. She had been one of the last students to leave the class, and had a high stack of books with her. A high stack of books that landed in a heap on the ground after she had a clumsy moment and had collided with another student.

"Whoa!" the other said. He had held his footing even though Elphaba had tripped. He looked her over and grinned. "Enough books, there?"

She fought off the urge to groan. She knew this wouldn't end well. "Sorry about that." She picked up all but one of her books- the other student managed to grab it before she could.

"What do we have here? _Introduction to Life Sciences_." He grinned, made like he was going to hand her the book, but then dropped it with a theatrical "Whoops."

Before Elphaba had to retrieve it, someone else had picked it up. "Leave him alone, Avaric." The Samaritan handed Elphaba the book.

The bully- Avaric- rolled his eyes. "What is it, Boq? You don't have to stick up for him."

"And you don't have to pick on him," Boq said, stepping closer to Elphaba.

"Forget it. I'm headed in town. Come find us when you've relaxed." Avaric and the others left, leaving Boq and Elphaba alone.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," she said. "I would've been fine."

"It's nothing. Besides, you really don't need to be making an enemy out of him." She studied him. He was Munchkinlander like she was, but of the traditional small stature. He was watching her as well. "Excuse me, but have we met? You seem very familiar to me."

"I don't think so," she said, perhaps too quickly.

"Are you sure? My name's Boq, of Rush Margins. And you are?"

"El- Alphaeus, of Nest Hardings." She had to be better at keeping that ruse up. He didn't seem to notice.

"Those towns are near each other."

"I think you're right," she said.

He smiled. "Listen, don't let Avaric get to you."

"How am I supposed to avoid that?" They continued talking for awhile. He was the first friend she made at Shiz.


	6. Follow Me

And it's time for another chapter! Thanks to Faba who read this over first for me, and thanks to the lovely Mel(who always betas for me), who is now home from New York. Let's all bug her for a For Good update... I so didn't say that, Mel!_

* * *

_

_Thud_

"Damnit!"

When one is jarred from sleep by crashes and cursing, one tends to be less than pleased. Elphaba was no exception. She blinked sleepily at her roommate. Fiyero was standing in front of his desk, books and pens scattered on the floor. He didn't seem particularly happy.

"Wha?" Elphaba managed to say, confused at the sound.

Fiyero apologized for the noise. "Sorry, Alphaeus. I didn't mean to wake you up. Ran into the desk."

Elphaba fumbled along the bedside table for her glasses. Only then did she get a good look at Fiyero. And noticed he was shirtless. And that the diamond tattoos that were patterned over his body were also on his chest and seemed to go past the waistband of his pants... _Stop it, Elphaba! _She coughed and said, "It's alright. I should be getting up, anyway." She quietly kept her eyes down and told herself not to look at him. She refreshed the spell that hid her skin under her breath. He didn't seem to notice the difference. He picked through his closet, fingering a white shirt. "Wear that one. It'll look good on you."

He blinked. "What did you say?"

_Oh, Shiz! _"Hmm? I said the white one looks clean."

"Oh. Of course." He cleared his throat and put on the shirt. Elphaba let herself relax now that her roommate was finally fully dressed.

Awkwarness, thy name is cohabitation.

* * *

However awkward relations between Elphaba and her roommate were, she was fairly happy. For one thing she had made several friends. Boq was like a big brother to her, well, other than the fact that she was several inches taller than him. She could talk to him over just about anything. Anything other than her feelings for her roommate, anyway.

Then again, she was not the most, shall we say different, member of the little 'charmed circle' that was forming. Both Crope and Tibbett were probably both more feminine than she was. It took the attention off of her, at least a little. Avaric was still the definition of an ass to her. It was as if he just knew she was different somehow and was determined to figure out how so. So he picked at her and prodded her and she focused on not losing her calm.

It was a struggle, but seventeen years of being green prepares you for a lot of things. Avaric aside, she felt like she fit in for the first time in her life. She was invited to things, and was included. She didn't have to hide in the back with her nose in a book. Though that did have a few flaws... she was pretty distracted during her Life Science class which held the rest of her 'circle'. One afternoon it was Boq, "Avaric found out-"

"How come I already know this will be bad?"

"Stop. He isn't so bad! Anyway, he found out the Headmaster's niece and some of her friends are in town."

Elphaba blinked. "So?"

"So... the niece agreed to take her friends and meet up with Avaric and _his_ friends at a pub in town tonight."

Elphaba frowned. "Boq, no. Are you really saying you want to go to some pub, get drunk off your ass and watch Avaric chat up some snobby rich girls?"

"Really Alphaeus, you sound like someone's mother! C'mon. It'll be fun. Besides, you'll be there to keep us out of trouble."

"But-"

"C'mon, I promise you'll have fun." Boq grinned. "Maybe you'll meet a girl yourself!"

Elphaba fought off the urge to choke. "I'm _really_ not interested in meeting girls."

Boq frowned. "Then we'll leave you here. And be left to our own devices-"

"Alright, fine. I'll go, I'll go. If only to keep you from doing something really stupid."

"Wonderful. Meet you in front of Briscoe Hall at eight. Tell Fiyero, he's invited too."

* * *

The walk to the pub they would meet up with the girls at wasn't especially long, but the weather was quickly turning cold. Elphaba followed the boys as they quickly shuffled through the streets tp the warmth and fun awaiting them.

The street was not empty. Elphaba noticed a Fox mother and two pups staying close to an alleyway. Elphaba's stomach lurched. "A little food for my children? Ma'am? Sir?" The mother beckoned at those who crossed her path. Avaric paid her no mind but Elphaba felt a bit of pride bubble up in her when she saw both her roommate as well as her best friend hand notes of money to her. Elphaba made to follow suit but hesitated. "What happened?" she heard herself ask.

"Beg pardon?" prompted the mother.

Elphaba blushed. "I don't mean to pry. I was just curious, wanting to know what happened."

"My husband lost his job. His boss claimed Animals are not capable of making food."

"But that's horrible!" Elphaba said. "I-

"Alphaeus! You coming?" Elphaba glanced up to see Boq and Fiyero in the doorway to the pub. Boq called her forward. "C'mon before it gets cold out here!"

"In a minute!" She turned back to the family. "Listen, if there's anything I can do-"

The mother raised her paw. "Enough, enough dear. Have some fun. You're too young and innocent for all of this." Elphaba bit her lip and followed her friends inside.


	7. Water Wasn't Wet

Sorry about the delay. Does it make you feel better if you know I have alot of the next chapter written? Big thanks to Mel, who kept me from posting a substandard version of this, and betaiing the finished product. Thanks to Faba, because she read it too._

* * *

_

_With the ultra-feminine hat perched atop her head, she felt ridiculous, to say the least. Galinda grasped at her arm and squealed. "Elphaba, you mean thing, look at you! You're beautiful!"_

_"Now you're lying." But the curiosity still lingered. "Is there a mirror?"_

_Galinda shook her head. "Come, you can see your reflection in the dark window." She pulled the girl closer to her. "Entrancing, there's some strange exotic quality of beauty about you. I never thought."_

_"Surprise!" said Elphaba, but then she flushed. "I mean, it's surprise, not beauty. Well, wouldn't you know? It's not beauty."_

_"Who am I to argue?"_

The pub was alive with young people, dancing, laughing. The air was smoky and the lights were dim. Some were already well on their way to becoming intoxicated. Elphaba hurried as she stepped inside and quickly found the others. Avaric's arm dangled over the shoulder of a small blonde girl with delicate features. She wore a pink dress. Her three friends all seemed to match her, like a set of human accessories. It was very clear which girl was the Alpha Female and it was clear that was exactly the way she wanted it. It was also very clear that the girl was the same as the beautiful girl in Elphaba's vision. Galinda.

Elphaba hurried over to the empty seat at the table beside Boq. "Hello there," she said quietly.

"About time you show up," Avaric 'welcomed' her.

The girl beside him scowled. "Be nice to him." She prettily swatted his shoulder and her attitude won her points with Elphaba. "How do you do? My name is Galinda, of the Arduenna Clan on my mother's side. And you are?"

"Alphaeus."

She forced a smile, clearly expecting more than simply a name. All the same, she murmured that the meeting was 'her pleasure' and introduced her friends.

"How long are you ladies going to be in town?" Boq asked, smiling shyly.

Galinda turned her attention. "Just for a few weeks. I'm here on vacation visiting my dear Uncle, your boys' headmaster. And what would a vacation be without my dearest, closest friends?" She gestured to those around her.

"And how did you become acquainted with our Master Avaric?" Elphaba tried to hide her contempt with the boy, though she didn't think it was working particularly well.

"Our parents are colleagues. This is actually only the second time we're met." Elphaba frowned. Galinda clearly had not yet seen how repelling Avaric could be. It would only be a matter of time.

Eventually, the college students began a sloppy game of cards, which became sloppier as they slowly became drunker. Elphaba barely touched her glass, but she still struggled with the game. She lost every hand, eventually provoking Tibbett to gently mock her, saying, "Really, Alphaeus, you have a horrible poker face. I don't know how you can ever keep a secret."

"Oh, I'm sure Master Alphaeus is better at cards than we give him credit for," one of Galinda's less memorable friends said.

Galinda herself smiled at her. "Of course he is. He has a great strategy."

"I do?"

"Of course you do!" Galinda said, standing so she could grasp Elphaba's thin shoulder. "Let them all think you don't know what you're doing, then, when they least expect it, win all of their money from them." She coughed lightly and Elphaba couldn't tell if it was forced or genuine. "Master Alphaeus, would you accompany me to the bar? I think I will switch to drinking merely water for the rest of the night."

"Sure." Elphaba said, feeling slightly uncomfortable when Galinda grabbed her arm. Galinda told the bartender what she wanted, and a cool glass was handed to her. She took a sip at the counter and whispered to Elphaba, "I never was much for drinking. I can't see what's so appealing about becoming intoxicated." Just then, her foot caught in the floor and she tripped, spilling her glass. Out of a reflex Elphaba jumped out of the way; she still did not know what effect water would have on her. Luckily she was not splashed.

"Are you alright?" she asked, once the initial shock was over with.

"Oh, I just tripped over my own shoe." But Galinda frowned here. "But you..." she trailed off. "It was as if you were afraid of water." Elphaba never answered her and the night passed without further event.

One thing Elphaba had learned in her time at University was that men took just as long in the bathroom as women. Or, at least Fiyero did. That was how she knew she could have a little time to herself while her roommate bathed in the bathroom just off of their room.

She sat on the edge of her bed and took her hair down out of the boy's wig she usually hid it under. Her dark black hair had become tangled and knotted after a long period of it being neglected. She slowly brushed it, pulling at knots. Nessarose, her younger sister had often referred to her hair as her only vanity, because Elphaba had always taken good care of her long dark mane, even if she normally kept it tied back.

She brushed it methodically. It was a mindless task and required little thought. This allowed her mind to wander. She thought of her younger sister. Nessarose was needy and demanding. She both hated and loved her sister, who had always been the family pet. She was pretty with ivory skin, a rose blended into her cheeks. Nessa, although she was disabled, was the beauty in the family, and no one had even hid that fact from Elphaba.

And the rest of her family. Her mother, Melena had died young in childbirth. Melena had never gotten to see her only son, Shell. Unlike his sisters Shell was a completely normal, whole boy. Melena, in all her drunken stupors would have adored him had she not passed on. Shell had managed to make little impression on his sister, and was roughly half her age.

And then there was Frex. Elphaba's occasionally delusional father. He had a talent and passion for religion. The passion was matched only by Elphaba and the religious obsession matched only by Nessarose.

If he saw her now, what would he think? He had been the one to drive her to this, though he didn't know it. She had made a new life for herself, composed of lies and secrets. No one knew who she really was, no one could know. Not for the first time she wondered what would happen with time. What once she graduated from Shiz? Was Elphaba Thropp dead to the world, never to return again? Would she one day rise up like a phoenix? Or was she a hidden away secret like an insane cousin hidden away in an attic, never spoken of? Would Elphaba ever be allowed to be herself again? Did she even want to be herself ever again?

Eventually she shook herself. Her hair was now neat, and she carefully tied it back up and replaced the wig she hid it with. Fiyero came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and was none the wiser.

Days were uneventful, and a daily rhythm was established. Elphaba had taken refuge in the library of Briscoe Hall, and breathed in the scent of musty ancient books. Just then the quiet was shattered. Boq and Fiyero rushed in like a pair of charging elephants. Not Elephants, as Elephants were far more graceful than the boys.

"Where's the fire?" Elphaba asked, only briefly looking up from her book.

"Nowhere..." Boq said, very clearly baffled by the statement but continuing on. "Alphaeus, we need your help."

"We? Why are you bringing me into this? I don't need help," Fiyero protested.

"Oh, you need help, just not the kind of help I think I can offer." Elphaba smiled.

"Funny," Fiyero said, scowling.

"I thought so."

Boq waived his hand. "Anyway! Alphaeus, the other night, we noticed that you seemed to speak well with women."

"I thought I told you to keep me out of this?" Fiyero said in vain.

Elphaba ignored the interruption. "What?"

"Well, Miss Galinda seemed to be rather fond of you when we were at the pub."

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Miss Galinda was on Avaric's arm all night."

It was Fiyero's turn to but in. "But she was talking to you all night."

"I thought you were staying out of this?"

"I just meant I didn't need help."

"But you do need help."

"I-"

"Hey!" Elphaba raised her hand. "What was this about help?"

"Well, you just seem to get along with women so well. I was just wondering how you did it."

Elphaba blinked. "You want me to help you... relate to girls? W-why me?"

Fiyero didn't bother being polite. "Because Miss Galinda was all over you, and Boq is jealous."

"Shut up!" The Munchkin scowled. "What is this, 'Pick On Boq Day'?"

Elphaba groaned. "Calm down... I really don't see how I'm supposed to help you. I just talked to her. I never even noticed that she was attracted to me." She squirmed. "Are you sure she was?"

"Definitely," said Boq, chomping at the bit.

"Well... well, just don't try so hard. I certainly wasn't trying." The boys exchanged a disappointed look. Boq opened his mouth to prompt her, but she continued on herself. "Women aren't really so very different from men. Just a little prettier."

"You can say that again." Fiyero said, with a significant glance at Boq.

"Hey!"

"They just want to be treated kindly. But also as equals. Women don't want to be treated like silly, shrieking, blubbering idiots prone to fainting. That's a stereotype. We," Elphaba coughed to cover the potential disastrous flub up. "Women really are just people. No major difference from men, other than a few physical things. They want an emotional connection. To be loved." She flushed and looked down, aware of how odd that sounded. "Or so I've heard," she amended and excused herself not long after.


	8. That I Sneak Sometimes

As always, thank you to _**MEL**_, who taught me the proper way to spell Destiny. Wanna know a secret? I have another new story in the works... maybe if you review I'll post the first chapter faster... Maybe. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Alphaeus... Are you feeling alright?" About a week later, the "Charmed Circle" all sat in another dark cafe, laughing and carrying on. Boq had cornered Elphaba as she had been walking to the restroom, looking more and more concered.

Elphaba raised an eyebrow. "Of course. I feel fine. What is it?"

He looked at her face. "You seem almost green. You look like you're going to throw up."

Realization dawned on her. Elphaba had forgotten to refresh the spell in the events of the night... now her skin was slowly but surely returning to its natural color. She carefully put her hand in front of her face. It had a light green tinge that was becoming more prominent. "I'm fine," she insisted, hoping Boq would leave her alone long enough for her to do the spell before she began to look like a vegetable instead of mearly seasick.

"You don't look fine. Not at all." He held her wrist. "C'mon. I'll take you back to the infirmary at Shiz. The nurse there will take care of you." He tugged at her arm.

"But-"

His eyes widened, and he thought he had it figured out. "You're allowed to be sick, Alphaeus. You don't have to pretend to be strong. We all know you're not a wimp." Elphaba knew Boq often stuck up for her, when the others (well, really just Avaric) would mock her. He probably thought she was pretending not to be sick to seem stronger.

Elphaba swatted him. "I'm OK." She quickly murmured the spell, knowing how awkward the focused expression on her face must look. She finished and glanced back at the skin of her hand. Normal. Well, not normal for her, but what most people considered normal. She stepped fully into the light. "Boq, really, I don't know what you're talking about. I feel fine."

He blinked a few times. "You... Just a minute ago... Whatever. You look a lot better now." He gave her one last, hard look. "If you start feeling sick, just tell me."

Now that the crisis was averted, Elphaba felt touched. After all, the whole time, Boq had been trying to look out for her best interest, like a good friend should. "Don't worry, I'll tell you."

"You better."

She nodded. Nearly being discovered shook her. She had never meant to let herself come so close to being found out. She couldn't let it happen again.

* * *

_She fell to her knees in front of the throne. She squeezed Glinda's hand in hers. She watched the skeleton-thing dance. The rain fell, as if clouds were held in the ceiling, lightning flashing and thunder booming. She was terrified, though the rational part of her mind told her it all had to be a parlour trick._

_The rational part of her mind also told her to stay away from the water. Trick or not, the water would burn her like fire. Fear spasmed through her, and she heard Glinda say something. Eventually, she got her wits about her, at least enough to speak, though she doubted she was very imposing kneeling on the floor, trying to keep away from the water dripping over the throne. She had a reason to be there and a task to complete..._

She shook her head a few times, trying to shake the image of the dancing skeleton out of her head. That paired with the lightning... it was just too much for her to handle at the moment. She'd been supposed to go out with the others again, but didn't feel up to it. It was a mental tiredness, mostly. Maybe Boq had been right the previous evening, and she really was getting sick. She wished the visions would stop. What were they? Hallucinations? Nightmares? Dreams? Prophecies? She felt herself shiver at the last thought. She knew she wanted nothing to do with the skeleton and the rain.

Her near brush with being discovered had frightened her more than she let on. What would happen if one of her friends discovered she was not who she said she was? Would they tell on her? Help her hide? Did they suspect anything out of the ordinary about her? They knew little about her past. She told them the bare minimum. Her mother had died young, she had two younger siblings, her father was a preacher. She was much more careful to accurately time the spell, the effort of it leaving her frequently tired. She'd told Fiyero she was fine when he had questioned her earlier, but didn't feel up to going out. She said she had too much studying to do, anyway. He'd left, a bit worried she was still sick from the day before.

She did have to admit, it was kind of nice being left alone to herself. She had never had a room to herself. She'd shared a room with her younger sister for as long as she could remember, but the house had always seemed empty. Since she'd come to school she had rarely been alone. There was always someone who she could talk to. She poked around under her bed, for a box. Normally, she kept it hidden, as it mostly held trinkets as well as the spellbook Yackle had hid among her possessions. It also held a small bottle of lightly scented oils. She smiled, at the thought of being able to relax, refresh and unwind, alone. She made sure the door was locked and the shades were down. She modestly slid out of her clothing and cleaned herself.

She thought of what was coming next. Yackle, the old, nutty lady had told her Shiz held her destiny. Elphaba didn't see any destiny hidden among the boys of Shiz. She had no idea what she was supposed to be doing. Was there some sort of deeper meaning to this? Was she supposed to meet someone? Make some discovery? Or had the 'destiny' already happened and she hadn't noticed? She was frustrated. She had no idea what she was supposed to do after she graduated. Most of the boys planned to graduate, move back home, and start their adult lives. Elphaba didn't really have a home to go back to.

She wondered if there was a way for her to contact Yackle. Maybe the old woman would know what she was supposed to be doing with her time. She felt like she was walking through quicksand and making very little progress.

Just then, Elphaba heard a sound; a key scraping against the door. "Shit!" she heard herself say and quickly dropped the oil and slid her clothes on as quickly as she could. Luck was on her side. She was able to find the arm holes on her shirt with the first try, and Fiyero (for he was the only other one with a key to their room) seemed to be struggling with the lock. She knew she wouldn't have time to pin her hair up to hide its length, but hoped pulling it back would do.

He eventually got the door open, and she sat casually on her bed. "Hey, Fiyero," she greeted him as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Hi," he said, throwing his keys down on his desk (he hardly used it; it was mostly a storage shelf to him). He eyed her and seemed to debate over saying something more.

She rolled her eyes, and wished he would just say whatever it was. "What?"

"Nothing. You just seem out of breath. Are you sure you're feeling alright? Boq said he thought you were sick." He took a half step toward her, and she scooted back on the bed.

"Never been better. I feel better after having some time in." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Really." She behaved as casually as she could, wishing he would drop the issue.

He could clearly sense her annoyance. "Fine, I'll take your word for it. I'm not here to be your mother." He was quiet for a minute before he added, "Hey, Alphaeus?"

"Hmm?" She was on the verge of being impolite, but tried to hold her tongue. "How do you keep your hair that nice? It's... shiny. And longer than I thought it was."

Elphaba blinked a few times at the awkward expression on Fiyero's face. "I washed it while you were out," she said as simply as she could.

"Oh." Fiyero shook his head, obviously uncomfortable. "Well, I'm going to bed. Good night," he said, abruptly, clearly desperate to get out of the uncomfortable situation.

She watched him for a minute, wondering if something more was waiting to be said by him. "Night." She called back, pulling back the blanket on her own bed and climbing in. She considered saying something more herself, but decided against it. It was a long time before morning came.


	9. Where I've Never Been

And here is the next chapter. I had Prom last night. It was amazingly fun. And my dress was very Galinda. It was great, other than my best friend and her date didn't get along so well. Pity. Well, I'll stop babbling about my personal life and let you get to reading.

_**THANK YOU MEL!**_

* * *

Elphaba sat in her desk in Life Sciences, trying to keep from falling asleep. She had barely slept the night before and felt like she couldn't get her mind to stop wandering long enough for her to rest. The fact that her professor, Doctor Nikidik, spoke in a mumble did not help her cause very much. She was debating whether a little catnap would hurt her grade when she felt a piece of wadded up paper hit the side of her face. She blinked a few times, disoriented, and then realized the piece of paper was actually a note.

Rolling her eyes, she opened it and recognized Boq's messy scrawl. _Hey Alphaeus?_

**What? **She wrote back, throwing the paper on his desk.

_Can you help me?_

**I'm not promising to do anything before I know what it is. What exactly do you want?**

_Well, the other day I was trying to talk to Miss Galinda. She just doesn't seem to realize how I feel about her. Do you think you could try to speak with her for me? Put in a good word?_

**Really Boq, did you ever stop to consider she just might not be interested?**

_Please! I promise if this does no good this will be the last time I ask you for help with a girl._

**Does this mean next time you'll be asking me to help you impress a boy?**

Boq glared at her, writing something and chucking the paper ball at her head. _You know what I meant. Please?_

**Fine. I'll pull her aside tonight, when we're all out. It's Crope's birthday, remember? We were supposed to meet at his dorm and then pick the girls up.**

_Yeah. Thank you._ As planned, the group of friends all met up. Most of the group focused on getting intoxicated. Elphaba was simply pleased that Fiyero didn't seem to be drunk. She did not want to spend the night hearing her roommate empty the contents of his stomach over and over again. Of course, the fact that Galinda seemed buzzed didn't help her cause terribly much. All the same, she had made a promise to her friend. She walked up to the girl, tapping her on the shoulder.

"Miss Galinda?" Elphaba squirmed inside as she offered her arm to the girl. "I'd like to speak with you. Would you mind walking outside with me?"

Galinda giggled, making Elphaba even more uncomfortable. With a pointed look to one of her friends, she said, "Why, of course." She took Elphaba's arm and the two of them walked out onto the patio at the side of the diner. Once they were outside in the cool air, she said, "Now what would you like to talk about?"

"Well, I'm sure you know one of my closest friends is Boq," Elphaba began.

Galinda frowned. It was clear from her face that this was not how she thought their conversation would be going. All the same, she said, "Yes. Boq is nice."

Elphaba chewed the inside of her cheek. She had been hoping for a little more than that. "Yeah, he's a really great guy. Very trustworthy. Anyway, he's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Really?" Galinda looked a bit like a deflated balloon.

Elphaba walked over to one of the benches on the patio and patted the seat next to her. "Yes. You see..." she trailed off, knowing this was going to be awkward. It became especially awkward once Galinda had curled up on the bench beside her. "You see, Boq is rather shy. He wanted me to talk to you because he really cares for you. All he does is talk about how wonderful you are." She winced, realizing how much she had made her friend sound like a stalker.

"Alphie..." Galinda's eyes lit up at having given someone a new nickname. "Alphie, Boq really is a sweet guy. I know that. But... well, it wouldn't be fair to pretend to have feelings for someone when I have feelings for another person, right?"

Elphaba felt bad for Boq. This didn't sound at all good for him. "I guess you're right. But really, maybe you could give Boq a shot?"

"Shh!" Galinda said, pressing a finger against Elphaba's lips. Elphaba's heart dropped. Suddenly it was very clear who Galinda had feelings for. "Alphie, I think it's wonderful that you would speak on your friend's behalf. Noble, actually. However, I'd like to be very open with you. May I be open with you?"

Elphaba swallowed. "Yes?" It was more a question than a statement, but Galinda didn't seem to notice or care.

"Well, from my first day here, I could see what a great person you were." Galinda poked Elphaba's arm in a way Elphaba could only assume was supposed to be cute. "And I was very drawn to that." Galinda's voice dropped, and Elphaba had to lean closer (against her will) to clearly hear her. "And here you are, speaking for your friend... Why, Master Alphie..." She leaned over and placed a kiss on Elphaba's lips.

Elphaba jumped off the bench. "Miss Galinda!"

Galinda looked chastised. "I'm sorry... I didn't... I shouldn't have... That was highly improper of me. Please say you aren't too offended. I won't do it again."

Elphaba sighed. "I'm not that. It's just..." Elphaba thought as quickly as she could. _Idea_. "It's just I was supposed to be speaking on my friend's behalf. It's hardly fair of me to... take you for myself."

New hope sparked in Galinda's eyes. "But he wouldn't be such a good friend to you if he didn't honor your own desires. It wouldn't be fair to you if you had feelings you didn't respond to out of respect for him." Galinda now stood in front of Elphaba, and was reaching to rest a hand on Elphaba's shoulder.

She side stepped. "Miss Galinda, it's not just that."

"It's not?" Galinda asked. _It's not? _Elphaba's own mind questioned.

"It's not!" She took a deep breath. Then the idea struck her. "You see, Miss Galinda... I am a little, shall we say unorthodox?"

"Unorthodox?" From the look on the girl's face, Elphaba had no doubt that Galinda actually had no idea what the word meant.

"I... you're a beautiful young woman. Almost any man would be ecstatic to call you his. However... I myself... Miss Galinda... I prefer..." Elphaba had no idea why she couldn't spit it out.

Luckily, realization dawned on Galinda just then. "You prefer the company of men to women!" Her eyes were wide. "Alphie, I never would've guessed!"

Elphaba decided that was meant to be a compliment, though she wasn't sure why. "Yeah. But Miss Galinda, no one really knows. I guess you could say I'm still closeted." Elphaba was surprised at how easily the lies were coming. Then again, she had done nothing but lie since she had come to school, anyway.

"Oh, don't worry, it'll be our little secret until you're ready to tell the world." Galinda sighed dramatically then. "Pity. The good ones are all gay or married." Elphaba wondered if Galinda would still think that if she knew the truth.


	10. Shedding My Skin

I'm so sorry this took so long. The next chapter shouldn't take forever, or at least I don't plan on letting it... I know a bunch of you have been waiting for this, and I hope I didn't loose anyone's interest. That's why I'm kind of depserate for reviews. Not my normal review-whore-ness. Just wanting to know if you all are still interested.

* * *

Fall faded to Winter, and Winter to Spring. With that was Spring Break, something Elphaba had always found mildly ridiculous. Not the break, but the way people generally behaved on Spring Break. That was why she was less than enthused when the other boys had all decided to spend the weekend at a hotel in the Emerald City. Nevertheless, there she was, standing in the lobby, listening to everyone else decide what sight seeing they would do. The only thing she really found remotely interesting was the idea of going to the National Library. She had then been prepared to go alone but was surprised when Fiyero volunteered to go with her.

"You want to see the biggest library in Oz?" She knew Fiyero was intelligent, but he never was one to spend excess time studying and was usually content as long as he was passing. She couldn't quite picture him wanting to go to a library for the fun of it.

He shrugged. "You shouldn't go alone. It's a big city. Besides..." He scratched the back of his neck, a habit she had previously noticed in him, usually when he was anxious. "I'm not sure I'll remember the way back to the hotel without you. And everyone else already left..."

"Alright then. Maybe I'll find a nice picture book for you to look at," she said, lightly mocking him.

He laughed, good natured. "Aww, I thought I was up to chapter books."

She grinned at him. "Maybe a short one, but I don't want you getting ahead of yourself. Don't challenge yourself too much. Oh!" She had tripped and was barely able to stop herself from landing on the sidewalk.

"My apologies, young man." It was a gravely voice. Elphaba had tripped over the limb of another one of the city's inhabitants.

"It's alright, sir." She brushed herself off and looked at the older Goat's face. She was shocked when she realized she recognized him. Doctor Dillamond, the Shiz Professor who had lost his job early on. "Doctor Dillamond! Is that you?"

He scanned her and glanced over at Fiyero who stood quietly at her side. "Beg pardon? How do you know me?"

"I had just started Shiz when you lost your job." She raised one of her hands in a comforting gesture. "Sir, what happened?"

Dillamond looked down. "There is no long story, I'm afraid. After I lost my position, I couldn't find work. No one wanted to hire a Animal. So now I live here."

"On the street?" She fought to keep the quiver out of her voice. "That's horrible!" It was. This creature had lost his way of life because of his species? He was college educated and he couldn't even get a job as a waiter because he was a Goat? He had no way to make a living because of something completely out of his control? She couldn't swallow it. How could her destiny involve a school that had turned out a professor because of his species. It couldn't. It wouldn't, not if she had anything to say in it. "But... but I thought Animals already in the Professions, at least, were still allowed their jobs."

The doctor frowned. "Yes, but... well, institutions have been shall we say, encouraged to rid themselves of Animals." He laughed, though nothing was funny. "Shiz, of course was one of the first to elliminate the posisitions of all Animals on staff. And even then, the real problem is still brewing. Young Animals are being herded back to the fields if not to the wilderness. By the time your children are grown they will probably find talking Animals a novelty. Like how the actual Little Munchkins are becoming a thing of the past."

"That can't happen," said Fiyero.

"But it can." Dillamond lightly touched his shoulder. "And it has. The facilities that are supporting the Banns are seen as the most loyal to the Wizard. And Shiz... is very loyal."

_Shiz was supporting the Banns. This is wrong. This is so wrong..._"That's it," Elphaba said under her breath. "I can't do this anymore." She turned and ran off in the direction of the hotel, leaving Fiyero and Dillamond behind her, baffled.

"Alphaeus!" She could hear Fiyero shout after her but she didn't stop. "I'm sorry, sir... I have to make sure he's alright."

"Don't follow me!" she called back, knowing he would do it anyway. She glanced back with just enough time to see Fiyero hand some bills of paper money to Doctor Dillamond, enough to provide food for a week or two.

"Slow down!" She felt his hand reach her shoulder. He was a head taller than her, and faster. She couldn't trust herself to speak, but slowed down to a walk. They quickly reached the hotel and found their room. She found her suitcase, glad she hadn't bothered to unpack yet. She had to _go_, not that she knew where. Destiny or not, she could not simply stand there and let it happen. He looked at her face, hard. "You don't look well. Not just the running.. your skin."

"I can't do this anymore." She repeated it over and over again until she realized she was not simply talking about attending Shiz. She couldn't keep living a lie. His words sunk in. Her spell was fading. She sat in silence on the bed until her natural green hue returned.

"Alphaeus..." Fiyero's eyes had gone wide. He took a half step backward."What's wrong?"

"No, I'm not." At his confused expression, she elaborated, "I'm not who you think I am. Not at all." How would she be able to do this? "I.. I was born with green skin. I've been hiding it with a spell. Magic, y'know."

He swallowed. "That's alright. I mean... I mean, it's unusual, but I don't care what your skin looks like. You're still the same person you always were. I don't care if you're green."

She would've smiled had that been all of her secret. She considered dropping it there, but knew if he knew that much she might as well tell him everything. She let her voice rise to it's natural pitch. "That's not it, Fiyero."

He blinked. "What?"

She reached up to release her hair, letting it fall to it's full length down to her waist. "My name is Elphaba Thropp. My Great-Grandfather is the Emient Thropp, a politician in Munchkinland. My mother was named Melena. She died when I was eight. My father is Frex, a preacher. I have a little sister and a little brother."

He was understandably slow to process this. "Are you... are you telling me you are a _girl_?"

She nodded, his shock making her all the more uncomfortable. "Yeah. Listen, I'll just go. Tell the others what you want. You won't see me again. Sorry for lying about that."

She had gotten up, but he stood between her and the door. "Alphaeus.. Elphaba.. Fae, wait. I don't care. I.. I'm sure that you had to have a good reason to go through all of this. I... Don't leave."

She couldn't believe what he was saying. He didn't care? That she lied to him on a daily basis? That she was a green skinned _girl_? "What?"

"Please? Come back to school. I won't tell anyone your secret. Maybe I can help you." He grabbed at one of her hands. "Please."

"But..." She looked at the door. Going back to school was more than going back with her friends. Shiz was not the safe haven she had thought it was. There was corruption, and apparently had ties to her fate. What if her fate also had to do with denying the Animal's their rights? What if her future had a hand in it? She could be doing more harm than good.

"No buts. Come back with us. Don't let the politics Shiz ruin college for you. It's your right to learn."

She laughed at his word choice. "No it's not. I'm a girl, remember? Girls are banned from the college."

"Well that's a stupid rule!" He shook his head, and looked at her again. "Please? Come back with me. I could help you keep your secret. And everything else, too. I'm a Prince, remember? Maybe... maybe I could set something up in the Vinkus? Protect them, somehow."

He was so blindly good. He had a strong since of right and wrong, had an innocence. He so wanted to do the right thing. Be the hero, even if being the hero was also a stupid action with real consequences. She had the fleeting thought that if more people in the world were like him, none of this would've happened. Hell, even after finding out her dark secrets, he could still see the good in her. And that was appealing. Maybe... maybe he could help? She looked at her feet. "Alright Fiyero. I'll try. But I'm not making any promises."


	11. So You Can See My Face

Hello, all. I really should be updating You Can Do All I Couldn't Do, but this was demanding to be written. Plus, I came down with a bad case of pneumonia which landed me in the hospital. So I really don't feel like writing a story in which Elphaba is sick. That'll come soon.

Thanks for sticking with me! Let me tell you, pneumonia is not fun.. seriously, don't get it. Though why would you want any illness, anyway? Did you all see the Tony's? Rent's performance made me sob like a little baby. And score for Patti!

_(The babbling continues for some time, Tiggy not realizing you all lost interest awhile ago and just want to read the story. So go on and do that, and review afterwords)_

* * *

Fiyero was able to get everyone to leave Elphaba alone, claiming she was sick. Boq was eager to check on Alphaeus. "Seriously, don't. He's worried he's... contagious. Throwing up and all of that. Wants to be alone." Fiyero was quite pleased with his ability to quickly lie.

Until Boq shot a hole in his argument, anyway. "Then why is he letting you stay with him?"

He hesitated while he thought of an answer. Frankly, the fact that he was able to come up with any excuse after being so shocked was remarkable. "He figures that I've been around him enough already. He thinks if I was going to catch whatever he had, I already would've."

Boq frowned, but decided the explanation made enough since. Elphaba had claimed it was often hard to lie to her friends, especially Boq, who was so naturally kind. Fiyero could understand where she was coming from. He hoped that her telling him would help lessen her guilt... not that he cared _too much_.

* * *

Eventually, they all returned to Shiz. It was quiet. Part of it seemed to be that the friends were simply becoming bored with one another. It was the end of the school year, minds were turning to final examinations. Galinda and her friends had all returned to their respective homes, before the break. Elphaba worked to stay below the radar as best she could. She was under enough stress, although confiding in Fiyero had helped her some. All the same, she couldn't quite relax. One afternoon, a few days after they had returned from the city, she walked down to the Headmaster's office to try to take care of things.

She eyed his secretary, an all around fishy woman. Madame Morrible. She groaned to herself, remembering to keep her voice pleasant and calm. Morrible was a common figure in her increasingly-often occurring visions. Most of the time, events were mundane. But not always. "Good afternoon, Madame. Is Mister Brogthurn available? I'd like to speak with him."

Morrible nodded, not happy. Elphaba sensed that Morrible clearly thought she was far too qualified to work as a secretary. She held herself with an off-putting air of importance. "You picked a good time, his meeting was canceled. Go on in."

She did, politely knocking on the door, and he welcomed her in. "Welcome, son, have a seat."

Elphaba felt nervous for whatever reason, but settled into the chair on the opposite end of the headmaster's desk. "Sir, I've been wanting to speak with you."

He turned his head. "What about? A poor grade in a class? If it was a required course, you can make it up in the summer session." From his bored tone, Elphaba realized that questions with grades had to be the most common reason for a student to see the Head.

"No, sir." She looked down before speaking again. "Over spring break, a few friends of mine and I headed down to the Emerald City."

Brogthurn frowned. "What kind of trouble did you boys get yourselves into? I'll have to write your parents if anything illegal happened."

Elphaba raised her hand, "No, nothing like that." Brogthurn relaxed, reassured that there had been no scandal involving his students. "I saw a former professor here. Doctor Dillamond, the former Life Sciences professor."

Brogthurn frowned. "Yes, he lost his position here last fall. The Animal Banns."

"Mister Brogthurn, Doctor Dillamond was on the street. I just thought you should know that an esteemed former professor had fallen. I would have thought Shiz could help him in some way," she said.

"Help him?" the Head scoffed a little. "Dillamond lost his position because he is an Animal. That is the Wizard's law, and we must abide it. And it is, in my opinion, a fair law. The minds of tomorrow do not need to be corrupted by beasts. I'm sorry he has fallen on hard times, but Shiz can do nothing for him now. Master Alphaeus, worrying will do him or you little good. Go on to your dorm. I'm sure you have finals to prepare for."

She held it together just long enough to leave the room, walk past Madame Morrible, and walk into the main hallway. She ran all the way back to her dorm room. She passed Crope in the hallway, who tried to stop her and ask her what was wrong, but she couldn't stop. She had no idea what she would tell him, and simply called, "I'm in a bit of a hurry," over her shoulder.

She got to her door, throwing it open. Fiyero was sitting up in his bed, flipping through a book. He frowned when he saw her, clearly worried about seeing her so upset again. "What's the matter? What happened now?"

She didn't answer at first, digging through the closet for her suitcase. "I know I said I'd try to just go to school, and I did. But I can't do it anymore. I tried to talk to Mister Brogthurn. I wanted to know exactly what happened with Doctor Dillamond. I thought Shiz could help him somehow, maybe help him find a position somewhere else. But Shiz wasn't just him going along with the Banns, Fiyero. Brogthurn said he thinks Animals are beasts." During her outburst Fiyero had come up to stand behind her, awkward. "I really can't do it anymore."

He looked down. "Please don't go." He repeated his plea from the Emerald City, sounding a bit like a broken record. "Don't let politics ruin school for you. What would you even do if you left Shiz? You told me you have no plans for after school."

She rolled her eyes, annoyed. "Why do you care so much if I go or if I stay? I'm nothing to you. Why are you so insistant on me staying at Shiz?" Her vision swam, the room fading to another...

_"Elphie, Elphie!" She was fighting off tears, feeling the sting as a few drops of water fell down her cheeks. Fiyero tried to calm her, putting his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. He hesitated, and the room felt electric. Everything froze; and then they kissed. It moved quickly, the two of them melting together on the little bed..._

She shook from the brief vision, staring hard at Fiyero. "Why do you care so much?" She repeated her question, slightly afraid of his answer.

"I'd miss you. We'd all miss you..." The answers were true, but they weren't the entire truth, and they both knew it with startling clarity. "Oh hell, forget it!" His hands were resting on her shoulders, and he held her still so he could lightly kiss her on the lips. After a moment that could've lasted a second or a lifetime, he pulled away, walking over to sit on his bed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It was inappropriate."

"I guess I have my answer now," she said in a half voice, dropping the suitcase and walking over to her own bed. She laid down on her side, facing away from him. She worked to hide the bit of hurt she felt at how quickly he had pushed himself away from her. It was ridiculous to feel hurt. Anger, annoyance, exasperation. Those emotions made sense. Not hurt that he had pulled away so quickly.

But logical or not, the hurt was there and she wasn't doing such a great job of hiding it from him. "Fae?" He called to her from his own bed.

"Hmm?" She pulled her knees up to her chest, keeping her back to him.

"Would it make you feel better to know that for the longest time I thought I was gay? Before I knew you were... an _Elphaba_ and not an _Alphaeus_?"

"A little," she admitted, looking over her shoulder to smile at him sheepishly. They were quiet for a long while, eventually both getting ready to try to sleep. Behaving much braver than she felt, she asked, "Where do we stand, Fiyero? Are we a thing? Did that... make us something we weren't before?"

"I don't know, Fae. I wish I knew. It's not that I don't want us to be a thing, but we both have so much baggage. I don't know how to protect you from the life that's expected of me. My family won't stand for... Me and Sarima were set in stone when we were children. I don't know how to get around that. And I don't want to make things harder for you."

It wasn't the answer she wanted, but it was honest. It would have to do. "OK."

"So... did any of that convince you not to leave?"

She actually laughed. "I don't know... I'm still here, I guess."

He nodded, pleased with that. "Good."

"Goodnight, Fiyero," she considered saying something more, but decided against it. They both curled up in their beds, staring away from each other. They both pretended, but neither one of them slept.


	12. The Other Side

Just a warning... this one's a little dark. Or a lot dark. OK, it's definitely a lot dark. But... it had to happen. _don't hate me._

* * *

There was a bit of guilt, but she had been expecting that. There was also some reluctance, which she wasn't expecting at all. Why should she feel reluctant at following through with a decision? She didn't want to be here anymore. So why not go?

_Because you told him you would stay. Because he'll be hurt when he knows you're gone._

She rolled her eyes, annoyed at herself. She had never promised Fiyero she would stay at Shiz. She had only said she would try to. There had been nothing binding about it. She had no reason to stay, except for him. And that was hardly a reason, anyway. She could expect nothing of it. He'd told her himself that he was already married, had a duty to his family. He was no reason for her to stay.

_Yeah, right. _The little voice in her head was being obnoxious. She told herself to ignore it.

She hadn't even bothered going back to the dorm. She didn't really have anything she would need, the little money she had already in her pocket. She would only be leaving some clothes and schoolbooks behind. She didn't need them. They would only slow her down.

She ignored the real reason she refused to go back; if Fiyero was there, there would be no way she would be able to leave him. Just like both of her other attempts to leave, he would convince her not to. No, she had to leave now.

_You're running away again. Just like you ran away the first time. Is that how you deal with things? When it starts to hurt, you just run away? Oh, how strong you are, Elphaba Thropp. You have enough courage to run away. _The little voice was flat out accusing her now.

_Oh, shut up. I can't do this anymore. I can't deal with this much blind hate and idiocy. I can't watch the Animals loose their livelihood and simply enjoy the institution that hurt them. I'm not a hypocrite._

_No, you're not a hypocrite. But you are running away. And it is _so _not just away from the idiots of Shiz. You can't stand being around Fiyero, having him be so sweet to you. knowing that in the end he isn't going to be yours. You're falling in love with him! _

_I am not! _She shook her head, trying to clear it. She was well aware that it probably wasn't healthy to be having an argument inside her own head... but really, with everything she had going against her, what was a little schizophrenia? It was the least of her problems.

She walked out of Shiz as casually as if she simply was meeting a friend off campus for lunch in a cafe. She would never return.

* * *

She knew she hadn't planned things particularly well. She'd bought the cheapest train ticket she could, and she still barely had enough money to make it to the Emerald City. She hoped she would be able to find Yackle. She had no idea what she planned to say to the old woman. _"Hello, it's me again. The whole destiny at Shiz thing just wasn't working out. So, do you have a back-up plan?" _It seemed ridiculous. She had no idea if Yackle was even still in the Emerald City. For all Elphaba knew, the old woman could be dead by now.

She knew all that, but she was still surprised when she found Yackle's shack, clearly abandoned months before. She knocked on the door, uselessly. A passing woman stopped as she walked in the street. "What're you doing there?"

"I used to know someone who lived here... an old woman named Yackle. Have you heard of her?" She felt hope bubble up.

But of course it was squashed. "My dear, no one has lived here in years. It's supposed to be haunted. I've lived in this part of town my whole life, and I've never known any Yackle." The woman softened. She was at the older edge of being considered middle-aged, and could easily have a child about Elphaba's age. What had to be maternal affection materialized. "Are you alright? Have a place to stay?"

Elphaba knew she should've said, _"No, I'm not alright. And I have nowhere to go." _She probably would've gotten a bed for at least a night, and a hot dinner out of the deal. But her stubborn nature insisted she say, "Oh, I'm fine, Ma'am. Nothing to worry about."

The woman clearly didn't belive her, but they were in the poor part of town. No matter how benevolent she was, she probably couldn't afford to feed an extra mouth. So she didn't push the issue. All she said was, "I hope you're telling the truth. Be careful."

"Thank you," Elphaba said. Once the woman was out of her sight, she sat down on Yackle's doorstep, bringing her knees up to her chest. It was almost summer now, but the Emerald City was as cold as winter- it always seemed to be. She let the spell that turned her skin green fade. It wasn't so noticeable when you were surrounded by a city that was entirely green. She pulled her coat tighter around her, letting herself lean against the door, falling asleep... Just for a minute, she could sleep... A little catnap, just to rest her eyes...

"Hey guys, look what we have here!"

Elphaba's eyes snapped open, already knowing it would be bad. She was surrounded, four or five men, a little older than she was. She wanted to just go back to sleep, and sat frozen in place.

"Little ragamuffin-thing. Off in color, too."

"Probably doesn't have much money on him. Let's just go. Tavern's still open."

"No one in this town has much money, might as well loot him."

The one who'd spoken first was standing the closest to her, and he smiled suddenly, grabbing her collar and pulling her up to her full height. "Well, what do you know. Guy's, this ain't some random piece of street trash. It's a girl." He made sure of it, roughly groping her.

"Let me go," she heard herself finally speak up. _Why aren't you screaming?_ It was the voice in her head, again.

_No one cares enough about me to come if I scream. No one knows me here. Why would they risk themselves for a stranger?_

_Maybe._ The little voice sounded dejected. _Close your eyes, and just breathe. They'll either kill you, or finish eventually. Don't think too much and it won't hurt so much. _The little voice gave up on saving her, simply comforting her instead. Elphaba followed the advice, locking herself in her head. She couldn't feel them drag her into the alley, or feel them remove her clothing. She didn't even register that they must've finished, and had left her for dead. She didn't feel anything, simply willed herself into unconsciousness.


	13. I Love Too Much

A fast update because I felt bad about how I left things after the last chapter. So here you are.

* * *

Fiyero was well aware of the fact that he was not the sharpest tool in the shed. But he also wasn't the dullest. That was why he wasn't exceptionally surprised when she never returned home. He was a little disappointed, though.

He knew he didn't have the time to dwell on things; he didn't have the time to think about what he was doing. He didn't bother stopping to ask someone if they'd seen her, he knew she was too good at covering her tracks for that. He considered writing a letter to send home- his mother would be worried about him. But he didn't want to waste time. So he simply promised himself that he would write home as soon as he was safe and had the time.

It was easy to slip out of Shiz unnoticed, easy to get a train ticket to the Emerald City. He fingered the cash in his pocket; being a prince had some benefits. No matter how much he wished to quickly get there, it was dawn before he arrived. The city was large, and he simply wandered. He knew she wouldn't be in the good part of town, far from the tourist traps.

It broke his heart when he did find her, though he hadn't really been expecting any better. Alone, clearly left for dead in a back alley, stripped of her dignity. He removed his light jacket, covering her with it, hoping to give her some of her modesty back. The touch woke her. "No..." she murmured, her eyes still closed.

"Fae, you're alright now. It's just me. It's Fiyero." He tried to slowly coax her into sitting up. The sun was rising, and it hurt her eyes.

She stared at him. "How did you find me?"

"Luck?" He didn't know any better than she did.

She rolled her eyes, and the little spark of her personality was good to see. "Since when has luck ever been on my side?"

"Maybe you were due for a little luck." He smiled, a little. "Or maybe I'm just lucky."

"Is it so lucky to find me? All I give anyone is a headache."

He frowned. "It wasn't lucky to find you like this, but I'm glad to have found you." He noticed her shiver a little. Her clothes had been scattered around the alley, but he was able to find the trousers she had worn, at least. He helped her into them- they were filthy and ripped, but better than nothing. "What do you say we get out of here? My father keeps an apartment not too far from here, we can stay there for a little while. Can you walk?"

"Yes," she said, a little too quickly.

He doubted her, but said, "Alright, let's go."

She tried to pull herself up, but stumbled. "Maybe not."

"That's what I thought." He put his arm around her waist, coaxing her into leaning on his shoulder. The way was slow going, but they eventually made it to the better part of town, where Fiyero's father kept his apartment. Fiyero led her up the steps, letting her in.

It was large. They entered into a sitting room, with white fabric and lots of natural lighting. He nudged her to the couch, walking into the kitchen to find a washcloth, wetting it. He returned to her, but she protested. "What is it?"

"I'm allergic to water... oh, don't give me that look. After everything I've told you, being allergic to water is the least of my problems."

"It's a problem when you spent the night on the street, after being raped." They both flinched at the word. It was easier to pretend she hadn't been attacked. "What do you use to wash up?"

"Do you have oil?" He nodded, remembering how the elderly back home would use oil to cleanse themselves. Sure enough, there was some rose oil in the medicine cabinet. He brought it and a dry cloth to her. She nodded, thankful. "Thank you."

He walked away to give her some privacy, staring out the window. "Why did you leave after you told me you wouldn't?"

"Fiyero, I never promised you anything. Of course I ran off." She watched his back, politely allowing her to clean up.

"And did you really think I wouldn't follow you?"

"I hoped you wouldn't," she said.

"That wouldn't have worked. What do you think would've happened if I never came across you in that alley?"

She glared at his back. "OK, I know I probably would've died. I'm well aware of that, Fiyero." She scoffed. "Yackle said Shiz would lead me to my destiny. Maybe it would be my incentive to die young."

"Don't talk like that, Fae."

"It's not like I accomplished anything there," she shot back. She paused, and added, "You can turn around. I'm decent."

He turned to look at her, cleaned up. Her hair hung like a curtain around her face. He hesitated before he spoke, hoping not to offend her. "Maybe you weren't supposed to accomplish anything at Shiz. Maybe you were supposed to meet someone there."

She looked at him. "Someone like you?"

He felt his face get warm. "Maybe."

She looked at the floor for a minute, but then she reached for him, catching his hand, pulling her closer to him. He sat down beside her, brushing a strand of hair out of her face so he could see her eyes. They froze there a minute, both afraid to move. Eventually, she grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers through it. "Maybe I think so too." He gave her a hand a little squeeze. He leaned closer to her, but she turned away. "Wait. Think about what you're doing. Sarima, your family."

He didn't pull away this time. "Fae, when I realized you were gone, it became very clear to me what was the most important thing to me. I'm sure." He brushed a kiss against her temple, trying to relax her. "Are you sure you're alright? After what happened to you?"

She got up then, walking toward the backroom, "I'm sure." He walked over to her, kissing her on the lips for a long minute. Neither of them were thinking about anything but the other. Then he smiled mischievously. He scooped her up into his arms. "Put me down!" Her protest wasn't easy to take seriously; she was laughing.

"Humor me." He opened the door, and nothing else mattered.


	14. Afraid Of What's Been Said?

'Ello there.

I wanted to address the issue of Elphaba's rape. I recieved quite a few reviews from people not seeing how she could simply have sex with Fiyero so soon after. Basically, there was nothing simple about it. I tried to explain some of her thoughts in this chapter, but I also wrote an extra scene, which I posted seperatly. It's rated M and titled 'Promise Me'. It's a very mild M, but I still felt like it deserved the rating.

Of course, it's fine if you don't read that. I repeated some sentiments here. I hope it helps clear up the issues.

Also, any Idina Menzel fans may notice that chapter titles won't neccesarily still be from her song If I Told You... because really, that song isn't very long at all. Though that's a very minor detail. This chapter's title came from her newest album, from the song: Don't Let Me Down.

Hope this clears some things up, happy reading.

* * *

He'd promised her that he wouldn't go anywhere, and he hadn't. When she woke up, he was already awake, watching her. "Good morning," she said, her voice rough with sleep.

"I think it's closer to night." He was smiling, though.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep so long," she said. She sat up, finding Fiyero's discarded shirt, pulling it on. It fell to her thighs, just long enough to allow for her to have some modesty.

He fought the urge to smile- the whiteness of his shirt contrasted prettily against her skin and hair. It was nice to see her as herself, not acting, not pretending. "I think my mother left some clothes out here last time she came with my father. One of her dresses'll be loose on you, but it should work." He poked through the closet, finding a deep plum dress, tossing it toward her. "I shouldn't give it to you, I should force you to stay in nothing but my shirt."

"Funny," she said, pulling the dress on. It was loose, but better than nothing.

He was still watching her. "It's odd seeing you dressed like yourself- I've gotten so used to seeing you in men's clothing."

She rolled her eyes. "Put some clothes on." It was nice for it to be easy like this. It was nice not having to think about anything at all, least of all the pain of the previous night. She wasn't ready to think about that, not yet. She much preferred to pretend it hadn't happened. She knew that in the long run repressing the fact that she had been raped would only hurt her, but for the moment she could just think about Fiyero. He loved her. He wasn't going to hurt her. It was easy to think about the tender way he had touched her that morning, so concerned about her.

"C'mon, you have to be hungry. I know you haven't eaten in the past two days." He slid his arm around her shoulders, hoping there was still food in the pantry.

The white living room was still pristine- the entire apartment looked more like a museum than an actual dwelling. It was all very still, undisturbed... except for the fact that it was. Elphaba heard herself yelp, "What in Oz are you doing here?"

It wasn't a robber, it wasn't the gang of men who had attacked her. Both of those might have made more sense. It was Yackle. "Are you really so surprised to see me, Dolly?"

Fiyero watched, his grip on Elphaba tightening. "Fae, who is this?"

"Yackle. The woman who sent me off to Shiz." Her eyes narrowed. "Unless you have a more accurate description for yourself."

"No, your explanation will do, my pretty." She stepped closer, inspecting them. "Perfect. Or almost. Your destiny is almost back on track, you here in the city. And with him. Yes, everything is almost on track. It's all happened perfectly."

"It would've been more perfect if you'd been where I thought you would be. I needed help!" Fiyero stroked her hair. It was disconcerting to see her crack a little, see a little bit of the pain she had been suppressing crack through. He lightly kissed her temple, and she relaxed an inch.

"Needed to happen, I'm afraid. But you're strong, you'll be alright. Can't be everywhere at once, dearie. Can't baby-sit you. I'm not your Ama. Destiny is my business, and as long as you get where you need to be, I shan't interfere. There will be pain along the way."

Elphaba was more than annoyed now. "Why do you care, anyway? What's all of this destiny? What are you even talking about?" She pushed her hair out of her face. "Why do I listen to you? You're just an old biddy, probably gone mad years ago."

Yackle wasn't phased. "Be nice now, dear. You'll see in time." She gestured toward the corner of the room. A large, old broom was propped up against the wall. "Though you'll want that. That'll be a big part of what you're to become."

"A broom? So I'm to be a maid? Sweeping? Surely I don't need a guide to my destiny if all it is, is to clean." But all the same, she broke free of Fiyero's embrace and grabbed the broom's handle. She squeezed it, feeling odd. She quickly dropped it, leaning it back against the wall.

"The broom isn't for cleaning. You'll see, my pretty." She touched Elphaba's shoulder. "Promise you'll be keeping the broom. I will be going." But she lingered, approaching Fiyero. She looked at him hard, lifting his chin with an old, bony hand. "Pity what has to happen." Fiyero shook his head, pulling away.

She let herself out, Fiyero locking the door behind her. "Pity what has to happen?" Elphaba whispered, shivering. She hadn't liked the way Yackle had inspected Fiyero, not at all.

"Nothing's going to happen to me, Fae." He sat down on the couch, his arms open to her. She quickly went to him, letting him pull her into his lap.

"Fiyero, I'm nothing but bad luck. Maybe... maybe you should go? Yero, if something were to happen to you-"

"Stop. Stop it now. I'm not going anywhere, not without you." He hugged her a little tighter. "You're not alright, are you?"

"I'm fine," she lied.

"No you're not. Fae, you were raped. You shouldn't be alright."

She looked away. "It doesn't hurt if I don't think about it. I'm fine if I just think about you."

He kissed her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised her, again and again. "I don't care about destiny. If it involves being apart from you, I don't want it."


	15. Love Till It Hurts Like Crazy

A nice, long chapter for you all... this is the one I've been waiting for, because it explains quite a bit... and well, I won't spoil you. You can go on and read.

I took my senior pictures yesterday. It was kind of fun. Though it cost a lot of money. Which sucks, alot. Oh well. No use complaining. At least I don't have to pay for it all by myself...

I'm babbling, aren't I? Is it sad I'm going to keep babbling just so this chapter will be over two thousand words long? OK, I'll shut up now. Happy reading!

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_She walks up the staircase. It was freezing outside and she shivered, but she couldn't find it in herself to hurry to the relative warmth of her loft. Something was wrong. The door had been left wide open. "Fiyero?" she called up the stairs. Had he left the door open? He was normally tidier than that._

_The steps creaked under foot. She reached the top, but immediately wanted to run away and pretend she had not seen what she saw. Her Fiyero, her beautiful hero, lying there. Blood pooled around him. She isn't aware of what she was doing. She vaguely felt herself fall to her knees beside him, gently touching him. She tries to find his pulse, but of course there is none. His blood gets on her skin, and while it burns almost like water, she barely feels it. It is nothing compared to the other pain._

She sat up in bed, fighting the urge to scream. Fiyero wakens beside her, looking at her, concerned. "Fae? What's wrong? What happened?" He reaches for her, and she calms, leaning her head against his chest. His heartbeat is steady. His breath is even. He is alive, he is still with her.

"A nightmare." But was it really just a nightmare? It had felt so real. When you dreamed you weren't supposed to feel, but she knew she had felt physical pain.

He rubs her back. "Well, you're fine now. Nothing's going to happen." He looked toward the window. "Let's get up for the day, it's morning." She nodded, not wanting to go back to sleep.

They had been in the city for a week, and had been left alone since Yackle's appearance. "I think we should try to find someplace else," he said as the two of them sat down to a meager breakfast- the pantry had been stocked, but there hadn't been that much.

"Why? I thought we could stay here?"

"Not indefinitely. My parents will realize we're here, eventually. And when they do, they'll drag me home." Despite this, he smiled a little. "Fae, I want to start over. With you. We can stay in the city, start a life together. None of the other stuff matters. But, well, we can't do that living in my parent's apartment."

She was smiling, too, feeling ridiculous, but not really caring. "Well... we should look for a place. Today?"

He nodded. "It probably won't be much, we'll have to find work soon, but I have enough money with me to get us started."

She concentrated on her cereal for a minute, before looking back up. She knew the answer, but had to ask again, repeating her question from Shiz. "Yero, are we a thing?"

He clearly remembered the conversation from the first time they had kissed. He knew his answer, now. "We have to be, I'm nothing without you."

* * *

Although he hated to be separated from her, it was necessary upon occasion. He worried about her, alot. He knew she was cracking under her tough exterior, though she hid it well. It was never much. Mostly a tendency to curl closer to him as she slept. He knew that she would have to actually face her demons in time, but knowing Elphaba it would be a long time.

He'd decided to go alone to look into getting a small apartment. He hadn't told her, but they would have to hurry. His father was due to visit the City any time now. And once word got out that he had run off from Shiz... Yes, hurrying was good.

The apartment was in the good part of town, the part the City showed off to idealistic tourists. It's streets seemed to gleam, the city practically made of Emeralds... he knew they wouldn't be able to succesfully hide away in this part of town. So he reluctantly made his way to the seedier part of town. He hurried past the alley where he had found Elphaba, but felt an arm lock around his bicep. He tensed, expecting the worst. Maybe the gang that had hurt her... before he could strike his captor, he realized it was no street thug. All the same, he groaned, exasperated. "Hello, Ma'am," he didn't want to be polite, but Yackle's apparent age alone commanded it.

"What are you doing in this part of town, and without your little green girlie?" But she was smiling at him. Creepy.

"Finding a place to stay. We can't stay in my parent's home forever."

She smiled. "Perhaps I can be of service. I know of a place that isn't occupied. No landlord, you could live there without pay."

He frowned. It was tempting, but... "What's wrong with it? Scene of a murder? Leaky ceiling? Dead bodies under the floorboard?"

"Not yet," she said, smiling. "C'mon, dearie. Just a look at the place."

He rolled his eyes, not eager. "Alright. Lead the way."

The woman was faster than her age should've allowed. He had to work to keep up. "Where are we going?" He bothered to ask, but she didn't respond. She finally stopped in front of an abandoned corn exchange.

"Here we are, head on up and have a looksie."

"You aren't coming yourself?"

"Old Yackle's seen it before. Why would she look again?" He shook his head, but told himself that the fear was misplaced. Nothing would happen. The door led to a stairwell, and the stairs creaked as he went up.

The upstairs room was larger than he had expected, but clearly not designed for dwelling. It had no windows but a huge skylight that covered most of the ceiling. Crates were littered around, left over from the last tenant. A basin was in one corner, near an oven. The area looked as if it could serve as the kitchen.

He heard a sound behind him, and jumped. He laughed to himself when he realized it was simply a cat. Milky white fur, slightly from dingy. "Hey kitty. Don't have anything for you." His voice seemed oddly loud in the place. He reached over to scratch the cat behind it's ears, hoping he didn't have rabies.

He walked around, inspecting the skylight. Luckily, none of the glass seemed to be broken. The walls were simply wood paneled, a dingy gray. The floor seemed to be the same material. Just then, he heard a light sound behind him, assumed it was the cat. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he whirled, wondering if his original fears of being mugged were actually right...

But it was Elphaba, not some random thief. She was using the spell that hid her real skin tone, but was in feminine dress. She held the broom Yackle had left with her. "Yero, we need to go... I had a feeling. I... we have to get out here, now."

He nodded, letting his hand rest on her back, walking to the door, not arguing with her. He looked over to see the white cat still sitting on the floor. "Fae, what's wrong? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, but we have to leave. Please! I... felt sick, like something had happened to you, or would happen to you." She held the broom tightly in front of her, almost as if she expected to use it as a weapon.

"It's OK, nothing's wrong." He kissed her temple, worried about how shot her nerves seemed to be. He hoped things would settle down soon, and he could help her ease into a normal life. But what if her fears were grounded in reality? How had she found him so easily?

They stepped outside into the fading light. They walked about a block when they crossed paths with a few members of the Gale Force, the Wizard's personal army.

"Evenin' Sir, Miss," said one of the soldiers smiling at the two.

Still on edge, Fiyero tightened his hold on Elphaba's waist. "Evening. Anything of interest happening?" He tried to make conversation light conversation.

"A terrorist cell has been living in the area. We were told one of them and her lover were living near here." He leered at them, emphasizing the fact that the terrorist had been female.

"Terrorists?" Elphaba asked, an odd look in her eyes.

The solider clearly thought she was nothing but the typical naive young woman. "Nothing to worry yourself over. Just a pocket of dissatisfaction with the Wizard's policies on Animals." He smiled, reassuring her, as if they were simply discussing the weather.

"What would you have done if you had caught them?" Fiyero asked, not sure he really wanted to know. A terrorist cell in favor of Animals? He knew Elphaba would support the cell, not feared them.

The solider smiled. "Would've made sure they wouldn't be able to cause more trouble for the Wonderful Wizard, is all."

The two of them continued on, not wanting to exchange pleasantries with the guards. Once they were out of earshot, she said, "We have to go somewhere else. We can't stay in the City."

He frowned, though he already agreed with her. "That's fine, but why?"

She looked down. "I've had feelings lately, more and more often. Yero, something bad is supposed to happen. To you, to us. And it happens here, or at least back up in that loft."

He kissed her, trying to reassure her. He was ready to go wherever, if it made her feel better. "We'll go in the morning, we can go back to my parent's home tonight. Where do you want to head? Munchkinland? Your family out there?"

She shook her head. "No. I can't go there... I have an idea, though. "You remember Miss Galinda?"

"Of course." The pretty, slightly vain, though good-intentioned, blonde girl was hard to forget.

"She was a friend of mine.. I was thinking that maybe we could stay with her, for a little while. She said her parents travel alot, leaving her to her own devices. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

* * *

That night she clung to him, tighter, needing to feel that he was still there. She hadn't simply had a bad feeling; she'd had a relevation. Her visions weren't dreams or nightmares, and she wasn't hallucinating. She wasn't insane, or at least her insanity wasn't causing her to see things.

Her visions weren't predictions of the future, they were what was supposed to happen. They were the destiny Yackle spoke off. Something had gotten off at some point or another. She had been supposed to share a room with Galinda at Shiz. They were supposed to see the horrible Skeleton in the lightning storm. She was supposed to fall in love with Fiyero.

And he was supposed to die in the loft. The very loft that they had been in earlier that day. How close was she to setting her destiny back on track? She didn't want to know. She didn't want to be anywhere to close to it, not if it meant Fiyero's death.

She stared at the broom, shamed to the corner. Yackle said it was a tie to her destiny. Elphaba couldn't understand how.


	16. Where Do I Begin?

It was easy to find Galinda's home, a grand manor house out in the middle of the country. Fiyero and Elphaba had reached it in only a few days. She had returned to her Alphaeus disguise, mostly to be recognizable to Galinda.

Neither of them were easily shocked by fancy houses. Fiyero's family had several castles, and Elphaba had visited her Great-Grandfather's home several times as a child. All the same, Galinda's home was impressive. "I guess we should just knock," Fiyero said. "What's the worst thing that can happen?"

"They tell us to leave the premisis before they call the authorities." Elphaba said, but she approached the house all the same, leaving Fiyero to catch up. She knocked on the door, and a serving girl in a neatly pressed uniform answered the door. "Hello, ma'am. We're friends of Miss Galinda, we met when she paid a visit to her Uncle at Shiz University. Is she home?"

Fiyero was impressed. Elphaba was calm and cool, and had actually managed not to lie. The maid didn't detect anything, either. "She is. Why don't you two come in. I'll tell her that Masters..."

"Fiyero and Alphaeus." Fiyero supplied.

"Masters Fiyero and Alphaeus wish she would pay them a visit." She led them into the sitting room. "Make yourselves comfortable.

The two of them sat down on one of the creme colored couches. "What do you plan on saying? Telling her the truth?"

Elphaba grinned, turning a little red. "Well, back at Shiz, Galinda made a few assumptions about me-"

She was cut off by a happy squeal. "Alphaeus, Fiyero!" Galinda was as pretty as ever, and it almost seemed as if the sitting room had been decorated to best flatter her beauty. "I'd heard that both of you left Shiz... The scandal!"

Fiyero was confused, and even more so when Elphaba rested her hand on his thigh, scooting so close she was nearly in his lap. "Scandal?" He asked.

"You don't have to hide anything from me, silly!" She settled into a plush chair, striped with gold thread. "There was a bit of a stir when the two of you both disappeared. It was a shock, but everyone had had suspicions..."

"What?" Was Fiyero's response, not feeling particularly intelligent, looking at Elphaba for help. She simply smiled, as if there was some joke he wasn't understanding.

Galinda didn't notice his confusion. "You boys must be tired, we can set you up in the guesthouse. Mother and Daddy aren't home right now. Vacationing in... oh, somewhere. They left me here, so it doesn't really matter. No worries, I won't tell Uncle that his missing students are here." She got up, excitedly taking Elphaba's arm, leaving Fiyero to grab their baggage. "I'll take you back there now." She smiled, wickedly. "There's only the one bedroom in the guesthouse, though I don't think you'll mind too much." They walked out the front door, Galinda leading them to a cottage that looked like a miniature version of her parent's home.

"This is very kind of you, Galinda. We really appreciate you not telling your uncle, the Head. We really wouldn't fair that well if we were sent home." Now Fiyero was sure he wasn't understanding something.

"No problem whatsoever. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I stood in the way of love!" Galinda had now noticed Fiyero's confused expression. "Oh, there's nothing to worry about, Fiyero." She let go of Elphaba's arm to run over to him. "I've known that Alphie-" she smiled at getting to use the little nickname, again, "Preferred the company of men to women. Little old me tried to cozy up to him once. I was sorely disappointed, but what can you do?" She cocked her head to the side. "I hadn't pegged you as the type, however. Guess that goes to show, you never know."

By this point, Fiyero understood. Elphaba was nearly choking trying not to laugh as he put it all together. "I... I wasn't aware I was the _type _until a few weeks ago. I guess there's no arguing with _Alphie, _is there?"

"No there is not!" They had reached the guesthouse, and Galinda unlocked the door, opening it. "It's horribly sweet, you know. A forbidden love affair." She grinned. "I'll leave you two to make yourselves at home. Dinner'll be served in the main house at six o' clock sharp!"

Once Galinda was gone, Elphaba dissolved into laughter. "You- your face when you put it together! It was priceless!"

"You knew Galinda would assume we're gay lovers?" She nodded, still laughing. "That's it, I'm going to get you!" He dropped their bags, tickling her. They couldn't be so serious all of the time, could they?

They settled into things, easily. Elphaba felt guilty at lying to Galinda, but she was relieved at being able to relax. It was nice to not have things like destiny hanging over her head... even if she had taken Yackle's damned broom with her, on a ridiculous impulse.

It was a lazy morning. Elphaba was curled on the couch in the living room, reading. Fiyero was still sound asleep in their bedroom. She was in the habit of letting her disguise fade when they were alone, and it was refreshing to not have to keep herself so hidden. She had only brought a few feminine articles of clothing with her, one of which was a midnight blue nightgown, that was comfortable. She looked out the window. The sun had rose not long ago, and there was still a pinkness left over from the sunrise. It wouldn't be long before it gave way to pale blue- the day would be beautiful, only a few puffy white clouds.

She nearly dozed off, when she heard the front door open. Galinda stood there, a try of muffins in front of her. The girl was clearly horrified. "Who're you?" She'd let herself in, probably deciding it would be nice to provide breakfast for her friends.

"Galinda, I can explain."

"Explain what? That Fiyero's cheating on Alphaeus with some random hussy? I _knew_ he wasn't gay!"

Elphaba squirmed, but an idea came to her. "It's not what it looks like." She quietly said the spell that would change her skin tone from green back to pale white. Galinda made a gasping sound, enhanced by Elphaba pulling her hair back, giving her a more masculine appearance. "Do you understand, now?" Galinda was shocked, and Elphaba gently grabbed her arm, leading her to the couch.

"What... who exactly are you?"

Elphaba was pacing. "My name is Elphaba and I'm a girl. I was born with green skin, and no one knows why. I ran away from home, and attended Shiz. I used "Alphaeus" as a disguise. So, no, Fiyero isn't gay." She cocked her head. "And I guess I'm not either."

"Lurline..." Galinda was slowly putting it all together.

Elphaba poked her head into the bedroom, waking Fiyero, telling him they had some explaining to do. When he was half awake, he came out. He gave Galinda a meek smile. "Fae," he gestured to her to make sure Galinda understood. "Fae could see that some people at Shiz weren't supportive of Animals. She left school, and I'd already fallen in love with her. So I followed her, but we didn't really have anywhere to go."

Elphaba touched Fiyero's arm. "We understand if you want us to leave, but we'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone what you know. If my father found me, or his parents made him return to the Vinkus... it wouldn't be good."

It was like a light switched on, then. "No! No, it's fine." Galinda said. "I won't say anything, but Elphaba... Elphie!" She perked up, adapting the nickname. "You don't have to stay hidden. You can be yourself here."

"Your parents?"

"Could care less." She smiled. "You two are staying here, I'll help you." She smiled, touching Elphaba's cheek. "No wonder you understood me so well." She shook her head, smiling to herself. Then her expression changed. "I kissed you! Back at Shiz!"

"I won't tell anyone you inadvertantly fell for a girl, Galinda. No one will know but us... Fiyero could care less."

"You _kissed_ her?" He was a little amused.

Elphaba swatted him, turning to Galinda. "Thank you for this. You don't know how nice it is to have alittle help."


	17. It's Your Gravity

This chapter really, really amuses me. It took a while to write, but I'm rather pleased with the end result. Hope you all are, too.

Not this Wednesday, but the one after that I go to Portland, Oregon for a week to visit my step-mother's family. While I should have SOME Internet access there, I don't know if it'll be enough to give me time to update. Just so you all know. I should be able to update this probably twice before I go.

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_The castle loomed over her. It looked menacing, not like the castles out of storybooks. She thought of what the Elephant Princess had told her. She would be a Witch now, a believable disguise. Kiamo Ko would surely help the effect._

_She didn't want to be there long. All she would do was speak with Sarima. She would confess. She had to tell her what had happened to her husband, the father of her children._

_Children. Liir. She couldn't bear that thought, it was easier to ignore it. She couldn't prove or deny the relationship. He made things more difficult. But still, she would not change her plan. She would confess to Sarima and leave. Take herself away, disappear to one of the old caves. Bury herself. She would leave the boy behind... it wasn't a loss on his part, really. She couldn't bear the thought of ruining him, especially if he truly was Fiyero's... but she couldn't think like that._

She looked out the window, not at a looming castle in the Vinkus but at the Grand Arduenna family home. The lack of stress made her tense. She was so used to running, to fear, to worry, that being truly calm was an odd experience. She knew they were safe. Galinda's parents didn't mind the extras living on their land- they were barely present, anyway.

She turned from the window seat to watch Fiyero, still asleep. Frankly, she didn't care what happened to her, not anymore. She didn't so much care if she was captured, or died, or she was even dragged back to Frex. But she couldn't bear the thought of loosing him. Getting separated, or his death. That was all she was afraid of, anymore. Loosing him. She got up, walking over to him, ruffling his hair so lightly she didn't awaken him.

She changed her clothes and walked into their small kitchen. It usually fell on her to make breakfast; she usually woke up first, and Fiyero's cooking was often a health hazard. It wasn't a bad thing, and if nothing else it gave her something to do with her hands.

As she waited for the bread to bake, she found the broom, cleaning up a little. She thought of her dream, entering what had to have been Fiyero's home. She had been a Witch in that dream, or pretending to be one. It was ridiculous. What would her father say? Her mother's ghost would be horrified, Nessarose scandalized. Well, perhaps that last reaction would make it worth it.

She held the broom, thinking of storybook witches. Baking children into pies, turning handsome princes into frogs. And flying on their broomsticks. "Are you my destiny?" she asked the broom, holding it up.

She was rather surprised when it jolted in her hand. She let go, but it hovered over the floor, flipping itself so it was horizontal. Elphaba fought down the urge to scream. "This is insane. You've officially lost it, Elphaba. I hope you know that," she murmured to herself. She considered waking Fiyero, simply to ask if he saw it, too. Surely they weren't both crazy.

She decided against it, though. She took a step toward the broom. It rushed to her like an obedient lapdog, eager to lick it's mistress's face. She gingerly placer her hand on the wooden pole, pushing down slightly. It pushed back up at her. She shook her head, walking out the front door, still clutching the now animated broom. She didn't bother shutting the door.

She walked into the shadow of the house, out of any passerby's sight. She let go of the broom, and it levitated to her side. "I was a Witch in my dream..." she muttered to herself. Before she had a chance to change her mind, she mounted the broom, exactly like a storybook witch, meant to frighten children. It supported her weight easily. "Now what?" She asked the thin air, and wouldn't have been so surprised to receive a response. "Umm. Fly?"

And the broom did, sending her way up into the sky. She clung to the handle for dear life. She wouldn't mind death so much, but there had to be a better way to go than by falling to her death because she fell off of a broomstick. "OK, can we slow down, now?" The broom obliged. Well, fair enough.

Now that she was no longer afraid for her life, she relaxed a little. The manor house looked much smaller now, and her and Fiyero's cottage looked like a doll house. The air felt cleaner this high up, and was much cooler. She imagined herself as an angel of sorts, flying through the air. It was a rush to be so high above the ground. She circled the property, not wishing to get lost.

She heard a sound then, "Fae! What the hell are you doing? Come down right now!" Her head snapped around to see. Fiyero stood on the ground, now very much awake. He was also very concerned. Feeling guilty, she murmured, "Let's land," to the broom, and it reluctantly lowered them.

She stepped onto the ground, a few feet from where he stood. "Did I wake you?" Was all she could manage to say.

"No, the smell of the bread burning in the oven did." _Oops. _"What in Oz's name were you doing?"

"Trying on my destiny?" She tried. "I was alright."

He kissed her, clearly still a little worried, but pleased she was now on the ground. "I've never met anyone more brilliant than you, and I've never met anyone more reckless." He held her hand as they walked back into the house. The broom followed them of it's own accord.


	18. Better To Have Loved

Wanna be the one to make me break one hundred reviews for this fic? You have to review first... if someone beat you to it... please review anyway!

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"You can't hide, my pretty. You can run all you want, but you can't hide."

Elphaba closed her eyes, counting to ten. "I didn't hear anything, it was my imagination. I am going to turn around now, and when I open my eyes no one will be there." Elphaba did as she said. Yackle gave a nearly toothless smile. Elphaba felt like screaming. "What are you doing here?" She asked, exasperated.

They stood outside, in the little garden Elphaba had been trying to plant near the house. "You're evading your destiny. Or you're trying, anyway." She gave the broom a significant look.

Elphaba held her hand out to it, and it flew to her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You can't hide from your fate. You surely can't keep the parts of it you want and get rid of the ones you don't. You can't have the boy or the girl here. You can't have the broom. Not if you aren't going to follow through with destiny; which you will. It'll find you, you know."

"But I don't want it! Keep your destiny, give it to someone else, I don't care. I'm happy here." She held the broom in front of her, guarding herself from Yackle's words. "I make my own decisions, this is my life. I'll make of it what I will."

Yackle's milky eye's gleamed. "Some things have to happen, my dear. Whether you will them to or not. And it's not only you we're speaking of, you affect those around you. Like Glinda, the girl."

"Galinda, that's her name."

"A single letter hardly makes a difference." Yackle shrugged. "Whether you want it or not, destiny will find you. You have your kindred spirits with you already. I just hope you aren't making it worse than it has to be." She left then, and only then did Elphaba wonder how the old woman had known where to find her. Really, what was a surprise any more?

She didn't go back inside, she didn't particularly want to speak with Fiyero about the most recent encounter with Yackle. She laid the broom against the house, telling it to "stay" for good measure. It seemed to have a mind of it's own.

She wandered a little. She'd spent most of her time in the guest house or in the land immediately around her. Galinda had told her she and Fiyero were free to go where they wished, though she had done very little exploring as of yet.

"Elphaba?" It was Galinda's voice.

She whirled, and waved a little. "It's just me, how are you?" It felt oddly formal. According to her visions, she and Galinda were supposed to have a history. What was it?

"Fine, fine." She looped her arm through Elphaba's. "Walk with me? Mother and Father left again on another trip."

"Didn't they just get back?"

"Since when does that matter?" She forced a laugh, but it came out thin.

Elphaba frowned. "Are you alright? You seem awfully lonely. You don't have to lie, you know. You don't have to be all sunshine and rainbows if you don't want to be."

The blonde girl pursed her lips. "It was always like this, you know? The only difference was that when I was little they would hire a governess." She flat out frowned. "They expect me to marry soon, to get me out of their hair."

"I'm sure they don't feel that way. You're their daughter."

She squared her shoulders, huffy. "You ran away from home, Elphie. You told me. Where do your parent's think their daughter is?"

Elphaba shook her head. "I'm a little different. Haven't you learned that by now?" The girls had reached the edge of the property and settled onto the ground, skirts fanned out around them.

"You wouldn't be so different if you didn't have to be... and what about Fiyero's parents? Aren't they worried about their son?"

"I would imagine they are." She flinched a little. "I feel bad for taking him from them, but I wouldn't know what to do without him."

"You're in love with him."

"Of course I am. He deals with my insanity, the inner and outer demons that may or may not actually exist. I don't know how he does it, but he does."

Galinda sighed theatrically, shifting so she laid down on her stomach. "I wonder if I'll ever have have love like that,"

"I'm sure you will," Elphaba said, feeling ridiculous. Here she was, green skinned and awkward, telling her beautiful friend she would one day find love.

"How are you so sure? Do I have to remind you that my last crush turned out to be on a girl?" She rolled over, using a hand to block the sun. "Maybe I'll just inherit this big old house and keep a lot of cats."

"Oh, yes. That's a plan." Both girls laughed.

Later, once Elphaba was sure Fiyero would be ready to search the grounds for her, she began to head back. Galinda stopped her, giving her a little hug. "I've never been able to talk with someone so freely before. Thank you." Elphaba thought of the kindred spirits that Yackle had mentioned, and she knew Galinda was one of hers.


	19. Reach For Me

This could be the last update until I get back from Portland... I'll try to post again! Read and review, it'll motivate me more!

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She smiled as she walked into the little house, the conversation with Galinda making her feel even more grateful for Fiyero than she already did. He'd been trying to cook, again. She hugged him from behind, reaching past him to quickly turn down the heat on the oven to avoid a culinary disaster, leaning up to kiss the back of his neck. "I tried," he said, twisting in her arms to face her. "I feel bad that it always falls on you to make sure we have something edible to eat... it's too old fashioned."

"Yero, I hardly feel like a housewife, there's no reason to feel guilty. And I really don't want food poisoning." She let her hands rest on his chest, smoothing his shirt out.

"I was just trying to help," he repeated, nearly pouting, but the smile he was trying to suppress was turning up the corners of his mouth.

"And it was a valiant attempt," she assured him. She leaned up to kiss him, much more affectionate than usual. He wasn't complaining in the slightest, only moving away when she pushed him up against the still-warm oven. "Should we take this elsewhere?" She laughed lightly.

He hugged her tightly. "I'm not complaining at all, but what's with the change?" They hadn't been intimate since she admitted she wasn't as alright as she had pretended to be; that had been over a month ago. They had slept tightly curled together in that time, protective of one another, yet still chaste. Afraid the other would be hurt while they slept. "You were still so shaken up, you don't have to do anything, I'm not expecting-"

"Shh!" She kissed him. "I was talking with Galinda. She just made me realize how lucky I am to have you." She squeezed his shoulders. "What's happened happened. You got me through it. OK, I'm not over it, but I'm dealing with it. And what hasn't happened yet hasn't happened yet. I'm tired of being afraid of destiny. I don't know if I can change it, but I've given up on worrying about it. Yackle came to me earlier, telling me I was avoiding destiny... if staying safe with you can do that, I will. I don't care if I'm not living up to whatever I'm supposed to be. I'm happy and I have you." She smiled. "So you can see, I hope, that it isn't that I've changed, really. I'm just content to be happy with you. That is all I want. That's all I will ever ask for."

"You aren't very demanding," he said, raising her chin to kiss her. "Really, just having me is enough?"

She looked a little more somber for a minute. "I'm already taking too much- you were never mine to take. Your parents, your arranged marriage, your title. I pretty much stole you away."

He wanted to put his foot in his mouth, not pleased to have caused her to loose some of her joy. "I was yours to take. Yackle even said we were supposed to be together."

"She also implied you were supposed to die."

He kissed her temple. "Can we go back to not worrying about the future? You aren't going to loose me."

She nuzzled into his shoulder. "That sounds good," she whispered. They kissed again...

Later that night, they remembered the makings of their dinner burning in the oven. Neither was hungry anymore, but she reluctantly got up to pull it out of the oven, turning it off. It was a lump of something that she couldn't even identify. Throwing the entire mess into the garbage, she returned to the bed, curling up beside him. "Yero, please remember what I said about cooking." He smiled but didn't respond at first. She slid half on top of him, pillowing her head against his shoulder, liking the way his arms instinctively wrapped around her. "What are you thinking about?"

"Marry me."

She blinked. "What?"

He hesitated, that wasn't quite the reaction he had been hoping for, but it wasn't so negative either.

"I asked you to marry me. I mean, I know we wouldn't be able to use our real names on the license, and it would be a tiny wedding, but-"

She cut him off by kissing him. "I was just making sure I heard you correctly, love. Yes." She laughed at how pleased he looked. Then his expression changed. "What's wrong, now?"

"I don't have a ring for you... I hadn't really planned that." He cocked his head. "It just seemed so right."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't need a ring. I just want you."

"That is easy to give you." He smiled, content, and the two of them relaxed again. He rubbed circles along her back until she slept...

_She watched the Monkeys from the window in the tower. Was it really Monkey's or monkeys? The Witch didn't even know anymore, everything had faded; twisted and turned. She hardly knew when she was asleep or waking. Dreams would come to her and the whole world would shift on it's axis. When she awakened she would hardly know what had happened. Was she still the obedient daughter, the schoolgirl, the terrorist? No, no, no... The Witch stood in their place, in their skin. Everything had warped. The Monkeys flew, screeching like demons- which is what they probably looked like to someone sane. But to her... well, who even knew what up and down was anymore?_

She shivered, burrying her face in Fiyero's shoulder. She wished the visions would stop. She had been so happy, but how could she be, what with things like destiny and fate hanging over her head? Something always seemed to go wrong. She closed her eyes tightly, clinging to him. She pushed the thoughts of destiny out of her mind, though they still managed to hang over her like a dark cloud.


	20. Who I Was Before

I'm not very happy right now.. That should explain the mood of this chapter... hey, at least I'm not having visions... yet.

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Liir comes to her, clearly carrying news she wouldn't want to hear. He tells her Nessarose is dead. Her baby sister, squashed like a bug, beneath a house of all things. She doesn't ask how he found out- what was the point? In fourteen years, the boy rarely lied. She had grown too cold to care much. She sent her maybe-probably son away. She went back to her work... her heart had turned to stone when Liir's maybe-probably father died. This fresh wave of pain only numbed her more.

She nearly dropped the pitcher of milk she held at the newest vision- she probably would've anyway had Fiyero not pried it out of her hands and set it down on the table. "Fae? Are you still with me? Sweetheart, you're scaring me."

She swallowed. "I'm-I'm fine. Just a little headache." She forced a smile and touched his arm.

"You're awfully pale. Maybe you should lie down?" He tenderly touched her forehead. She was about to protest, but then Galinda plowed into the room.

"Elphaba Thropp!"

"Yes?" She winced, and wondered if she should tell Galinda of her new engagement to Fiyero. Perhaps another time when the girl was less perturbed.

"Elphaba Thropp, the Thropp Third Decending of Munchkinland?" Elphaba nodded her confirmation. "I knew I knew you from somewhere... oh, but I wish I were wrong!" She grabbed Elphaba's arms. "I have to tell you something now, and I don't even know how to do it!"

"Tell me what? And why does it matter who exactly I am?" She led both Fiyero and Galinda to the little couch that made up the guest house's living room. Fiyero wrapped an arm around her shoulder, clearly not liking the sound of Galinda's news.

"It matters because it means your younger sister is Nessarose Thropp." Galinda settled onto the couch, frowning when Elphaba confirmed the relationship. She chewed the edge of her lip. "Elphie, your sister is dead. There was a storm in Munchkinland, something about a flying house and a tornado. Your sister was crushed."

She tried to open her mouth, but her throat was too dry for her to speak. She felt like she was going to throw up. "Fae, you're shaking," Fiyero whispered, his arms tightening around her. "Galinda, could you go get her a glass of the milk? On the counter?" The glass was put to her lips and she swallowed.

"She... she's dead? She was crushed?" Her voice was a hollow whisper, and so quiet she wasn't sure that Galinda heard her- all the same, the blonde girl nodded in confirmation. Elphaba looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears in her eyes from spilling over. "My vision... it was so close to my vision."

"what?" Fiyero's voice was in her ear. He squeezed her shoulder, encouraging her to explain.

"I... I've been getting visions. All similar to my life, but not quite right. I think they are whatever my destiny was supposed to be. I went to Shiz. Galinda, I think we were roommates... I don't know how two girls were able to get in. Something bad happened. Fiyero, we were lovers, but then you died... then they get weirder. I was always so harsh and unfeeling.. Yero, I think we'd had a child together, but I'm not sure. Liir, a son. This morning, I had another vision... just before you came in. It was of me hearing about my sister's death."

"Elphie-"

"I-I have to go. Now. I've got to see it for myself... we didn't separate on good terms." She got up on shaky legs, removing luggage from a closet, then throwing it back in. "I've got to go back home." Home. The word was what made her break down, crumbling to the floor, crying. Fiyero gently picked her up, pulling her back to the couch, in his arms. Glinda found tissues to help prevent her from burning herself. "Hell, I'm not even welcome there anymore! I never told either of you why I left, did I-" she hiccuped. "It's silly now. I fought with my father... my mother was from a wealthy family, but our household was poor. I'd heard my father tell my nanny that they would be sending me to my great-grandfather's that fall. I was so horrified at that. My mother had always said she wanted us, her children, kept out of Colwen Grounds."

"It would be upsetting," Galinda tried to comfort her.

"It was nothing compared to this! I know that now! I was another mouth to feed, that was it. I wound up shouting at my father, telling him he wanted me out of the way. I didn't want to go there- be in the public eye, be stared at. My mother said she always felt so repressed there. So I decided to run away from home. Nessie was so hurt- she felt like I was abandoning her, she told me so. She felt like it was her fault I was upset, though I don't know why. I ran off without even telling her goodbye, with my only sister angry with me." She had nearly calmed, but cried again. "And then I had that stupid vision of her death, and then it happened. Does that mean it doesn't matter what I do? My destiny will still hurt the ones I love? Fiyero, does that mean I'll lose you still?"

She shook her head and was up again. She grabbed clothes out of the bottom of the closet in their bedroom, Fiyero and Galinda following her. "I can't, I can't be recognized... I'll use the old disguise... when did everything get so damned complicated?" She sank back down to the floor. They went to her, Galinda taking her hands, Fiyero pulling him against his chest. "I can't even see my own family because I don't know what will happen to me then... she died so close to my vision... I have to go." She was babbling uncontrollably. Eventually they got her settled back into the bed.

"We- not you, we- will leave in the morning. Sleep now," Fiyero kissed her forehead and wrapped the blanket around her. She sank into unconsciousness, visions of her baby sister, nothing but her legs sticking out beneath a house...


	21. Here Before You

They arrived by broom- Elphaba hadn't been sure it would support the both of them, but it had. All the same she and Fiyero were eager to get back on firm ground. She was sweating in the men's shirt she wore- she had decided to use her old disguise again, not wanting to run into any member of her family that could recognize her.

"Wow. Is all of Munchkinland like this?" Fiyero gestured to the little town they had arrived in- Center Munch, the town where Galinda had read in a newspaper that the house had landed.

She frowned. She had been very young when her parents had moved into the Quadling, and visits to her parent's homeland hadn't been especially common. Shrugging, "Not really, only in some of the more secluded towns. Nest Hardings wasn't this cheery."

Indeed, Center Munch was cheery to say the least- while most Munchkinlander families had married into height along the way, some were still purely "little". The town of Center Munch was doubtlessly sheltered, and all of the homes were tiny. The citizen's clothing was brightly colored, as were their homes. Colwen Grounds was a day away. She recalled the newspaper article Glinda had shown her- her family was making a visit to the Eminent Thropp. Nessa and Frex had decided to visit the little town, that was still mostly Lurlinest. To see what new converts they could get.

And now Nessarose was dead. It was easy to fine the spot where she had died- the house was larger than the others, and not nearly as colorful. Elphaba dropped to her knees in front of it, Fiyero watching her from a few feet away. "Nessie, I'm so sorry I ran away like I did. You didn't do anything wrong, I promise."

All was very quiet- the Munchkinlanders were avoiding the outsiders... except for one, and that one was from another town, anyway. "Boq, is that you?" Fiyero called out. Elphaba looked up, trying to see. Indeed, there he was. She touched the brick of the house before pulling herself to her feet.

"Fiyero!" He jogged over and noticed Elphaba, "Alphaeus. I never thought I'd see either of you again, we were worried. Why did you two up and leave like that?"

They looked at each other. Biting the bullet, Fiyero decided to go with the easiest explanation. He pointedly looped his arm around "Alphaeus's" shoulders. "Shiz just... wasn't for us. We wanted to get away... to where we could be _together_."

Boq nodded. Galinda hadn't been lying when she had said that all of Shiz had had suspicions when the two roommates ran off. "Oh, that. Well, no matter. It's good to see the two of you and I hope you're doing well."

Elphaba smiled, pleased that her friend was so accepting, even if it was needless. If she had actually been male, it shouldn't have affected anyone's opinion of her relationship with Fiyero. But still, something bothered her. "Boq, I thought you were from Rush Margins. Why are you up here?"

"I'm just helping my uncle on his farm for the summer. Funny, I didn't plan to have any excitement. Alphaeus, did you know Miss Thropp? I couldn't help but notice you kneeling by the house. Friends of the family?"

She shut her eyes. "Vaugely, when we were young. Do you know much about what happened? To her family, too?"

He nodded. "The Thropps. It wasn't pretty, lots of gossip floating around. Miss Nessarose's family lived in the Quadling Country. Her father Frexpar, her, her little brother, and her older sister. The sister was named Elphaba, I remember. We were actually in a play group together when we were little, before the family moved. I can't remember much of her other than that she had green skin. Peculiar, right? The other kids picked on her, though I didn't. Well, anyway, Elphaba ran off almost a year ago. Some family strife. Apparently, Nessarose blamed herself for it. She was very religious already. When her sister disappeared, she only fell deeper in it."

"It wasn't her fault at all." At Boq's odd look, she clarified. "I mean, I doubt it was... I mean, hell!" She was untying her hair before anyone could say anything else. "I mean, it wasn't my sister's fault that I left at all. It was simply me being an emotional idiot."

"What?" Boq raised his eyebrows in understandable confusion.

"If we wait an hour or two, my skin will be green again."

Elphaba's explanation wasn't helping. Fiyero stepped in. "You see... Elphaba didn't just run off. She disguised herself, very well, might I add. As our friend, Alphaeus. Alphaeus, Elphaba. You get it?"

Boq's expression changed from confusion, to shock, to disbelief, and finally to acceptance. He gave Elphaba a hard look, remembering her little nuances and peculiarities from Shiz. He asked the first question that came to mind. "I think I understand... so you two didn't run off to be lovers like Avaric said?"

Elphaba and Fiyero exchanged a look, fighting the urge to laugh. "Well, we did. It's just that she is a she. Though that probably makes the rumor a little less entertaining to Avaric, he'll still probably spread it along." He kissed her on the cheek, and she smiled a little.

But then her expression changed. "But Boq, my sister. What exactly happened? I-I need to know."

He opened his mouth, but stopped. "Alph- Elphaba, sorry. Are you sure you really want to know?"

She nodded. "I have to."

"She was visiting at the local Church. There was a storm, a bad one. There was a funnel cloud, it took everyone by surprise. The house came from the sky- I didn't see it happen, but everyone around said it was very quick. Nessarose likely felt no pain, didn't know what was happening." He stopped. She leaned heavily onto Fiyero's shoulder, letting her hair fall around her face like a curtain. "Elphaba, maybe we should stop."

"No... you believe she felt no pain?"

"No, I don't think there was any pain. It was all very, very fast." He hesitated. "The house is completely intact. The little girl wasn't hurt at all, or the little mutt."

Her head snapped up, revealing her tears. "What? A little girl?"

He nodded. "Dorothy, her name is Dorothy. Her aunt and uncle owned the house. She was completely horrified when she realized someone was dead. Everyone pitied her. She said she came from Kansas, though no one has heard of that place. Some suggested she visit the Wizard. He's from the Otherworld, right? Maybe he could point her in the right direction."

She scoffed, thinking of the Wizard's policies. "Poor thing. The Wizard is probably a humbug, someone just claiming to have some mystical life. Wherever she's from, no doubt she's as stuck here as we are."


	22. Die A Little

They didn't stay the night in Munchkinland, even though Boq offered to put them up for the night in his uncle's home. Truly, they had nowhere they needed to be, or were supposed to be. They knew they could go back to Galinda's, but both of them were worried of over staying their welcome. They would write to her as soon as they had an address to write from.

Fiyero asked her where they were headed, because he truly didn't know. Elphaba was a little surprised at that. She'd thought it would be obvious. "I thought we would find Dorothy. I would like to speak with her. Surely she's followed the Yellow Brick Road- we can too."

He frowned. He didn't think it was a good idea, but he knew the worst thing he could do was tell Elphaba that. "Why?" He asked, a little afraid of the answer.

Her eyes were dark. "Purpose or not, she caused the death of my little sister. My sister, who died blaming herself for my disappearance and presumed death. I want Dorothy to know what's she's done, to understand it."

His fears were true, then. Elphaba blamed Dorothy for her sister's death. No good could come of it. "Fae, please. It was a horrible accident. Just because one's carriage runs over someone walking doesn't mean the walker's death was their fault. This is the same thing. Dorothy was a little girl- I'm sure she didn't mean Nessarose any ill will. She's probably horrified at what she's done."

"She sure didn't stick around very long. Guilt?"

He lightly grabbed her by the shoulders. "Stop it. Dorothy wasn't piloting that house. You can't take up against a little girl who didn't mean to hurt anyone."

She shook him off of her, angry. "My sister was alive, her house came crashing down and my sister is dead. Who's fault do you think it is? Isn't it time someone paid for the wrong they did? The Wizard is allowed to pass his Banns. Brogthurn could fire Dillamond because of his species. I can be raped in an alleyway. Isn't it time someone paid for what they did?"

"Your anger is at the wrong person! I'm not saying the other things were right. I'm just saying Dorothy did not kill your sister, not on purpose. You have no right to harm her in the name of Nessarose." He crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn't wanted to argue with her. But she was hurt and angry, and the pain blinded her to reason.

"None of the others had any right to harm the ones they harmed. Why do I need to have the right to?" She was pacing, unable to hold still. "Why? Why is it wrong to.. to avenge her!"

"Elphaba! Listen to yourself! You aren't yourself, my Elphaba would never even consider murder, and that's what this is! The killing of an innocent. Relax, stop. I know you're hurting, I know that. I hate to see you hurt. But that doesn't mean you have the right to make yourself feel better by hurting someone else. Please, please. Let's go back to Boq, or let's go to Galinda." His voice had risen- he was very nearly yelling at her.

"You... you, of all people. Why can't you agree with me? You claim to love me, want to marry me..."

"Exactly Fae! Exactly. I love you, I love you! I can't let you do this, you'll regret it when you're no longer so wrapped up in your own pain. You're making a mistake, a big one. And because I love you, I can't let you do that. Try to see this from someone else's perspective."

"No! I'm tired of doing the right thing all of the time. For just once, just once I want to do what'll make me feel better, allow myself to feel. I'll do this whether you agree with it or not, Fiyero. I'm not asking for your permission or even your support."

"Think of what you're playing at! What in Oz has gotten into you?" But she wasn't listening to him anymore. She had mounted the broom, pushing off from the ground. "What are you doing?" He asked, futilely.

"Leaving." Was all she said before she was gone, abandoing him on the Yellow Brick Road.

Out of anger, he let her get a head start. But not an hour later, he followed her path on foot. He loved her too much to simply let her go. No matter how blinded by pain and anger she was, she was still the woman he loved. He had to stop her or her own guilt would be the end of her.

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Miles above Oz, her thoughts repeated themselves like a broken record. Fiyero was wrong, she could avenge her sister. She could do this. So much had been taken from her, she could take a child's life. Wasn't that what Frex had taught her as a child? An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. A life for a life. She had a right to vengeance, for everyone who had been hurt. For Nessarose, for the Animals, in particular Doctor Dillamond. For Galinda, lonely in her parent's home. For herself. This one death, this one insignificant life could stand for so much pain other's went through.

But it would not match their suffering. It would not reverse their suffering. Killing Dorothy would not bring Nessarose back to life.

Elphaba made the broom circle, letting her mind come back, reasoning to take back over. That was when she realized she could not kill the child, no matter how much she wished to. It would help no one. She would be no better than the Wizard or her old Headmaster.

She vaguely considered letting the broom crash land so she could fall to her death. Surely her pitiful existence wasn't doing anyone any good. Dead, she wouldn't hurt anyone else. Except Fiyero.

Fiyero. _Damn it._She had surely ruined things. He had been right, of course. He was her reason. He was probably disgusted with her now, seen her ready to kill a child. How could he ever want anything to do with her again? He surely couldn't, wouldn't. She had ruined his life, and now for nothing. He could've returned home, to his intended wife. He could've lived a good life in the Vinkus, prince of his tribe. But he couldn't go back to that now- he'd run away from school. Everyone thought it was because he had a male lover. It was probably the scandal of the century back in the Arjiki tribe. She'd ruined his life and left him.

"Down. Let's crash, or buck me off. Let me fall, let me smash into the ground. I don't even deserve life anymore, so let me die. Throw me off like a headstrong horse does it's rider." But the broom didn't mind her. She swung one of her legs over the side so she sat like a child on a swing, her feet dangling. She tried to push off and jump but the broom wouldn't let her fall. She screamed in annoyance, disturbing the cows and sheep in their pastures. But she didn't die.

She did the only thing she could think of other than suicide. She searched for Fiyero. She had no hope to fix things. She'd surely botched things to badly. But maybe she could stiff fix him, help him in some way.

She guided the broom back along the path, quickly returning to where she had left him. In his spot was a mess. She could see the remains of something brutal, something painful. A mess of blood. Fiyero's? How could it not be? He was nowhere in sight now.

It was her vision caught up with her. Fiyero had survived the Emerald City, the Corn Exchange. But that didn't mean he could escape death forever. It was silly to think he could. It only made sense for him to die in a bloody heap. It only made sense for him to die angry with her.

She attempted to throw herself from the broom again, but it caught her. For whatever reason, it's goal seemed to be to preserve her life.

She was gone, she had lost. All the pain that had went with her destiny had still found her. She had suffered as much as she ever would. Elphaba would find Yackle and her destiny. If it insisted on following her, taking everything from her, causing her so much pain, she would live up to it. If she was allowed nothing else, she would have her destiny. She could have the glory of it, at least, if she had to have the pain.


	23. The Road Ahead

_It was the end. There would be no afterward. It was only the two of them now. One would win. The other would die. The Witch didn't care, really. The outcome didn't matter, because either way it was her end. After this, the Witch would exist no longer. She would either get the shoes, rescue her lover's daughter, and disappear or she would die. Either way she would be no more. She walked up the spiraling staircase, one step at a time..._

As she always seemed to, Yackle appeared out of nowhere, some spot in the distance. The broom knew to land at the old woman's feet. She and Elphaba stared at each other, without speaking. She understood, in her bemused, confusing way. "You're ready now, aren't you?"

"I've lost everything. You said I was evading my destiny before. Well, I'm done. What is it? If I have nothing else, I'll have that."

Yackle touched the younger woman's face, lifting it. "So broken, hurting so much. You're ready now. Odd, I don't have the hat for you. You always managed to obtain it somehow on your own. Though I guess it doesn't matter- it was only for the looks."

Elphaba raised her hand in protest. "Stop, please. Just tell me, what am I supposed to do now?"

Yackle blinked, as if Elphaba were very dense for not understanding. "Go West. See your lover's family, beg for forgiveness. Let yourself become the Witch you have spent your entire life waiting to be. Get your vengeance, your revenge, get your ruby prize."

Elphaba- no. Not Elphaba, not anymore. The Witch. The Witch didn't understand, but she never did, anyway. It didn't matter if she understood. She didn't matter at all. The broom guided her to where she needed to be.

_She cowered in front of the Witch, crying and pleading. The Witch spat curses at her, demands that could never be filled._

Dorothy. She had never seen the little girl, but the dark haired child in the blue dress had to be her. Even as she sobbed, it was easy to see that she radiated and honest, innocent goodness. Dorothy had been told to follow the Yellow Brick Road to the Emerald City, to go and ask the Wizard for help. The Witch thought it was ridiculous. The Wizard of Oz could care less about a sniveling girl, much less one that wasn't even one of his citizens. The girl would get turned away immediately.

But did that matter? The Witch wanted vengence. The quicker the child was sent away from the Wizard, the quicker the Witch could have her. She could get her revenge, make the girl pay for the death of her sister.

_She lit the edge of the broom in the fire place. It caught, the dry straw lighting itself. She held the broom high._

This would be it, she would get what she wanted. She would avenge Nessarose's accidental death. She could get what she wanted. Or what she was supposed to want. She could take this one for herself, as so many others had been taken from her. Let someone else feel that pain. She had felt enough, she could share the agony. She was overflowing with the feeling of despair. She had buckets full of it. Someone else could bare some of it for her, some fraction of it. Dorothy could bare the pain.

_Some kindling fell to the ground. It caught the edge of her dry skirt, reaching for her. She heard her own scream._

Her head pounded. When was the last time she had bothered to eat? Drink? Sleep? She was knit of whiskey and iron, not flesh and bone. She held her head high, insanity barely at bay. She would think of rest, of nourishment once this was all over. It wouldn't take long now...

_"I will save you!" Dorothy said, throwing the bucket used to collect the rain water. She didn't know the effect it would have on the Witch, didn't know it burned her. The Witch felt the water rush over her, soaking her. She screamed in pain as it touched every inch of her, until the pain faded away as well as her sense of awareness._

"Elphaba!" Was she alive or dead? She didn't even know. The line between the present and her premonition hadn't just blurred, it had been erased. Did it matter? She could easily be dead. What in the world was a person who couldn't live up to their own fate, was frightened away by it?

For she was. She was terrified of the thought of living up to the destiny, to allow it. She must be dead. "Elphaba?" She was so weak, she didn't even deserve life. She could not kill Dorothy, not even if she tried to. Dorothy would kill her, that was her destiny. To be killed by a child, to have a little girl spend the rest of her life feeling guilty over an accidental murder. That was what she couldn't do. "Elphaba, can you hear me? What happened?" A hand shook her, and only then did she acknowledge the person attached to it.. "Please, please. Answer me, can you hear me?"

The voice was so gentle, so concerned. She was dead, was this heaven? She was too tired, hurt to much for it to be heaven. But the voice was too sweet to be from hell. It would be cruel to not respond to someone so worried. "Yes. I'm.. here." She was surprised at the tiny sound she created. The whispery voice was weak.

"What's wrong?" The hand that matched the voice was just as gentle. It ran over her body to try to find some physical injury. It found none. "What happened. Are you hurt?"

She cleared her throat. What was this? Judgement? Did the voice want to know her sins? It would be an awfully long list. "I was supposed to try avenge my sister. I was supposed to go up against the little girl. But I would never win. Dorothy was supposed to kill me. That was my destiny. And I can't do it. I can't let that girl have my blood on her hands."

A hand on her forehead. "You're delirious. Fae, please wake up, all the way."

Fae?

She opened her eyes, realizing she was not dead or in limbo. She was lying in a field just off of the Yellow Brick Road. The man before her almost made her heart stop. She squeezed her eyes shut again. "You're dead."

"No, I'm not. You aren't either, in case you were wondering."

"I saw the blood on the Road. You're dead. I saw the body."

A very alive Fiyero touched her forehead. His skin felt so cool against hers. "I followed you. I heard a scuffle behind me and ran like hell. Someone probably did get killed, but it wasn't me. Did you actually look at the body?"

"No," she murmurred, heart lifting somewhat. She opened her eyes again and he was still there. He helped her sit up, leaned her against him. "This is really real?"

"Very real," he assured her.

"It's over. All of the destiny... crap. It's over. I couldn't do it."

He frowned, still thinking she was delirious. She was fevered enough to be. "Well... if what you said your destiny was, to have Dorothy kill you was it, I'm glad. I prefer you to not be dead."

"But now what?" She didn't see how she existed any more, how there could be any after.

"Now we go back to our old plan. We make a life together, and we're not afraid of the road ahead. No more worrying about destiny." He stood up, helping her to get to her feet. The broom lay discarded on the ground.

"We can do that?"

He kissed her. "Fae, after all this, we can do anything." He grasped her hand, gently but firmly in his. "We aren't going to be forced into anything, we lead our own lives. No one holds power over us, not as long as we have one another. No one else is pulling the puppet strings. We can lead our life the way we want to, without being afraid of what's to come."

And they did.

**The End**

Normally I dislike writing an author's not after a chapter... To be perfectly honest, I prefer to do it at the beginning because I like to hear what people are thinking right after they finish reading, not after they hear me say something. But this note is more about the completion of this story, not just the chapter.

First off, I have to thank Meltalviel. This story was her idea, and I just ran with it. Love you, Mel.

I posted the first chapter on 02-12-08 and finished this on 7-31-08, so it took me longer than most stories do. Of everything I've written, this is probably my favorite. It's my baby, took some of my heart and soul. I can barely believe I actually finished it.

What's next? To be completely honest, I have no idea. I had planned a few things, but they all seemed to have some major flaw. Maybe I'll rework one of those ideas into something new. If you have any ideas you feel like sharing, feel free to PM me sometime.

Thank you for reading all this. I'm going to ask for you all to review one last time, even though it won't lead to an update. Peace!

xoxox

Tiggy


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